Talk:Melania Trump/GA2

GA Review

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Nominator: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 22:41, 17 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Edwininlondon (talk · contribs) 09:37, 1 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I am happy to review this. I will do it piecemeal. And if you don't mind, I might make the odd minor edit straight away, should I encounter one. Edwininlondon (talk) 09:37, 1 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Thebiguglyalien, here is the first batch of comments, Lead + 1st section:

in the lead, is there a reason why second instance of fashion model is linked and not the first?
she traveled to Milan and Paris to seek modeling work until --> because of the until, I read this as something that happened multiple times. Is that so? Or should it read "stayed"?
she responded to the Access Hollywood tape --> how?
Trump stayed in Manhattan for the first months of her tenure as first lady, allowing Barron to finish school and Melania --> first referring to her as Trump and then Melania does not work for me. I'd replace Melania with her
2018 saw several --> In 2018, she ... as per MOS:NUMNOTES
Her father denied paternity of the boy, even after it was confirmed by a paternity test. --> source?
As a child, Knavs and other children --> As a child, Knavs, like other children
At the age of fifteen, Knavs moved to Ljubljana to attend the Secondary School for Design and Photography, attending the school until her graduation at nineteen.[19] She made the long commute from her hometown to the capital and back each day by train. --> so did she move or commute?
who was on a scouting trip in Europe --> makes it look like this is about Trump. Some rejigging perhaps? Perhaps Knauss modeled for fashion houses in Paris and Milan, where in 1995 she met Metropolitan Models co-owner Paolo Zampolli, who was on a scouting trip in Europe.[13] Zampolli was a friend of her future husband Donald Trump. He became one of the few people who were involved in Knauss's life for a long time.
Once she arrived in the United States --> Once she resided in the United States
first major gig --> gig does not strike me as WP tone of voice. I may be wrong of course
others in the industry have said rumors --> do we want to say this? Is this a place for rumors?
at the time he had a reputation --> do we have reliable sources for this? Looks like quite a contentious statement, so we should be careful
in the January edition of GQ magazine --> add the year