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Talk:Nao Hibino/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 19:14, 19 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 19:14, 19 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

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Lead

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Personal life

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  • She came from a family of tennis lovers. She is named ===>>> Coming from a tennis-loving family, she is named
  • The citations to [1] are a bit too close to copying or plagiarism.
  • At the age of 10, her mother introduced her and her older brother to tennis to shift their attention from playing video games to sports. ===>>> At the age of 10, her mother introduced her and her older brother to tennis to get her brother to switch his focus from video games to sports. (Lessen copying; and the source only mentions it was only her brother who played video games)
  • she moved to Kobe ===>>> Hibino moved to Kobe (The first mention of Hibino in each paragraph should always be "Hibino", and never "she")
  • she does not usually live with them ===>>> she rarely gets the chance to live with them (Lessen copying)
  • often reads when she has time ===>>> often reads in her spare time (Lessen copying)
  • Travelling has given Hibino the chance to eat local foods and visit famous places. ====>>> Hibino enjoys eating local foods and sightseeing at famous places while travelling on tour. (Lessen copying)

Junior

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2012–14

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2015

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2016–17

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2018–21

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National representation

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Playing style

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Coach

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Apparel

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Tables

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Citations

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Overall

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  • Expand
  • (1) The lead, and
  • (2) The 2021 section, probably separating it from 2018–20
  • Common mistakes (all pointed out above)
  • "was advanced" should just be "advanced"
  • If you refer to an ITF event as "$00K City Name", it should be followed by "tournament" (as in "$00K City Name tournament")
  • I don't think "qualification" or "qualifications" are correct terms. I more commonly see "qualifying draw" or just "qualifying" (for example, "Hibino lost in the qualifying draw at the Antarctic Open" or "Hibino lost in qualifying at the Antarctic Open".)

Overall, the structure looks pretty good. Mainly just the minor grammatical issues (and expanding two sections). Let me know if you have any questions. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 02:04, 19 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

JamesAndersoon, alright, looks good! I did the last few tweaks myself. Passing, good work! Apologies for taking so long with the review. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 14:55, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Sportsfan77777 Thank you! My apology also for late respond after your first review. JamesAndersoon (talk) 16:25, 23 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Status query

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Sportsfan77777, JamesAndersoon, where does this nomination stand? I see that the review was completed and put on hold over four weeks ago. I posted a ping on JamesAndersoon's page back on October 9, but there has been no attempt by them to return to this review or the article and address the issues raised above, despite them having made over 250 edits on Wikipedia in the past week. Sportsfan77777, you might wish to set a deadline on addressing the issues you've raised—normal time on hold is seven days, which is long past. BlueMoonset (talk) 18:04, 18 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll see if I can get their attention. They had to wait a pretty long while to get this article reviewed, so I wouldn't be surprised if it takes longer than usual to respond to the review. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 22:24, 20 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Sportsfan77777, it looks like you did get their attention. How does it look now? BlueMoonset (talk) 01:50, 28 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]
BlueMoonset, you could call it failed. Sportsfan77777 is not interested in further review. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:25, 4 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
No, I just forgot about it. I'll get to it. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 15:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]