A fact from Nathalie Evans appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 21 July 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
Did you know... that Nathalie Evans lived in a flat with a chimpanzee that was trained to eat at the dinner table and use the flush toilet?
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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
... that Nathalie Evans, a co-founder of Twycross Zoo, raised chimpanzees in her flat in Sutton Coldfield? "The two women became firm friends, and were soon sharing a flat with two chimps, Sue and Mickey."
ALT1:... that Nathalie Evans once returned to her flat to find that chimpanzees had thrown many of her belongings out of the window? "One day Molly and Nathalie came home to find the chimps throwing their belongings out of an upstairs window, while a large crowd watched from the pavement"
ALT2:... that Nathalie Evans and Molly Badham provided the chimpanzees used in the original PG Tips television advertisements?"It was to help finance their enterprise that they provided the chimps for the Brooke Bond advertisements, Molly training the animals and Nathalie dealing with the business side."
ALT3:... that Nathalie Evans lived in a flat with a chimpanzee that was trained to eat at the dinner table and use the flush toilet?"Sue, according to her guardians, could pour tea without spilling a drop, loved to eat asparagus, and learnt to use the lavatory, always pulling the chain afterwards."
the article is interesting and the hooks are good, i have just a few initial comments, earwig is throwing up a similarity between "was a founder member of the National Federation of Zoological Gardens of Great Britain and Ireland and a member of the International Union of Directors of Zoological Gardens. With Badham and Maureen Lawless, Evans wrote two books: Chimps with Everything (1979) and Molly's Zoo (2000)" and "was a founder member of the National Federation of Zoological Gardens of Great Britain and Ireland and a member of the International Union of Directors of Zoological Gardens. With Maureen Lawless and Molly Badham she co-wrote two books, Chimps with Everything (1979) and Molly’s Zoo (2000)" so maybe it could be rephrased slightly
i changed "hand rear" to "hand-rear" in the text, hope that's ok
i like ALT0 the best and suggest changing it to "Nathalie Evans, a co-founder of Twycross Zoo, raised two chimpanzees in her flat called Sue and Mickey" to maximise hookiness? then the relevant sentence would need to be directly cited in the article Mujinga (talk) 09:37, 16 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Mujinga, thanks for your review. I've had a go at rewording those two sentences, which are awkward becuase of the book titltes and organisation names but hopefully they are better now. I've added the extra cites for the sentences about Sue and Mickey. let me know what you think - Dumelow (talk) 10:47, 16 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Cited: - Offline/paywalled citation accepted in good faith
Interesting:
Other problems: - i would suggest ALT4 "DYK that ... Nathalie Evans, a co-founder of Twycross Zoo, raised two chimpanzees in her flat called Sue and Mickey?"
Hi thanks for the improvements made above, yes I can imagine it's fiddly to rephrase the sentence about groups and books, but it's better now and there are no other issues. I suggested an improvement on ALT0 which I've now put formally as ALT4, let me know what you think, if you don't like my proposal no probs, then I'll put it to second opinion requested for another set of eyes. My view is ALT4 builds on ALT0 to make it more hooky. Mujinga (talk) 10:22, 17 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
OK great then this is good to go, nice one I enjoyed reading the article by the way. The proposed hook is then ALT4 "DYK that ... Nathalie Evans, a co-founder of Twycross Zoo, raised two chimpanzees in her flat called Sue and Mickey?" Mujinga (talk) 11:52, 17 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
@Mujinga: Per Rule H2, you cannot approve your own hook. Since you added the names of the chimps, ALT4 will have to be approved by someone else. Personally, I like ALT3 much better. Yoninah (talk) 21:39, 18 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- Offline/paywalled citation accepted in good faith
- i would suggest ALT4 "DYK that ... Nathalie Evans, a co-founder of Twycross Zoo, raised two chimpanzees in her flat called Sue and Mickey?"
Mujinga (talk) 10:18, 17 June 2020 (UTC)
OK great then this is good to go, nice one I enjoyed reading the article by the way. The proposed hook is then ALT4 "DYK that ... Nathalie Evans, a co-founder of Twycross Zoo, raised two chimpanzees in her flat called Sue and Mickey?" Mujinga (talk) 11:52, 17 June 2020 (UTC)
@Mujinga: Per Rule H2, you cannot approve your own hook. Since you added the names of the chimps, ALT4 will have to be approved by someone else. Personally, I like ALT3 much better. Yoninah (talk) 21:39, 18 June 2020 (UTC)
