Talk:Nick Kerbawy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 02:42, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll review this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:42, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead

• Recommend adding in that he was a three-time NFL champion with the Lions in the lead.

Biography

• He also attended Michigan Normal College (now known as Eastern Michigan University), and played tennis there, winning the 1935 championship, although he did not receive the trophy until 1949. -> He also attended Michigan Normal College (now known as Eastern Michigan University) where he won the 1935 tennis championship, although he did not receive the trophy until 1949.
• In c. June 1948 if it actually happened in June 1948, you don't need the circa. If it was around that time, I would recommend rewording to something more general, like "In the middle of 1948"
• After McMillin was fired in the 1951 season -> during the 1951 season
• best teams in the 1950s: no need for the colon, just end with a period and start the new sentence.
• championship in 17 years, and the second time overall. no comma needed
• However, Kerbawy helped build the Lions back up in the next season, and helped them win nine games and place second in their conference, narrowly missing the playoffs by a half-game the repetition of "help" is clunky. Maybe next season; the team won nine games and placed second in their conference?
• Kerbawy was fired from his positions after just three seasons, in January 1961. -> Kerbawy was fired from his positions in January 1961 after just three seasons

References

• Ref #25 needs an access-date
• Spot checks:
  • Ref #1 looks good.
  • Ref #3 looks good.
  • Ref #3 and 4 are the same article, printed in different newspapers. Same UPI article published the same day. Just choose one and delete the other.
  • Ref #7 looks good.
  • Ref #13 looks good.
  • Ref #18 looks good.
  • Ref #24 looks good.
  • Ref #28 looks good.

Images

• Image is non-free, but rationale looks good.

Nice work, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 18:52, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

• @Gonzo fan2007: I believe I've addressed all of the issues. Thank you for your reviews! BeanieFan11 (talk) 20:49, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
  • Looks good, passing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 21:27, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.