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Talk:Nigel Park/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'll take this one. Feel free to respond and correct me as necessary!

Prelim

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  • No dup links
  • Images correctly licensed
  • No edit war
  • Earwig reports no copyvio

Lede

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  • "He briefly flew with No. 122 Squadron" - not the longest lede so I don't think noting that this service was over the Channel here would be out of place

Early life

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Second World War

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  • why say Levin instead of RNZAF Station Weraroa?
  • "soloed" - I think this could do with a little clarification to ensure understanding for people who don't naturally understand the significance of this, and what it means
  • "further flight training with the Royal Canadian Air Force" - possible to say what he trained on?
  • "He later served with No. 122 Squadron" - is no date available for when he finished training and moved to 122 Squadron (unless of course this was April)?
  • "although his own aircraft received some damage to its wing." - this doesn't seem worded correctly. It's not like the damaged stopped him from shooting down the 109, so perhaps "...despite his own aircraft receiving..."
  • "of enemy fighters" - is specifying the type possible?
  • "despite jammed cannons" - wording a bit awkward again to my mind. What about "despite his cannons having jammed..."
  • Unless my maths is wrong (highly possible), I count here him destroying 9 aircraft plus some shares of others. Do the shares add up for the tenth victory or am I missing something?

References

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  • All references look good. Your publisher location style isn't all the same though, e.g. you've got "London, United Kingdom" for one and just "London" for another. Same for Christchurch (minor, I know!).
  • No, that's a good catch. When assembling the references, I often cut and paste from older articles I have worked on. I used to have countries as part of the location but am shifting away from that to just city. I have made them all consistent now.

That's all I have so far, will await your replies. As an aside, have you thought about working on Keith Park? Certainly needs some help! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 18:41, 31 October 2021 (UTC)[reply]