Talk:Not Like the Movies/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jivesh boodhun (talk · contribs) 08:28, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Before beginning the review, i will like to tell you that you can feel free to disagree where you think i am wrong. The we, will discuss. Best of luck. And the article looks good at first sight. Now, let me dig into it. Lol. Jivesh • Talk2Me 08:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

No mention of recording location(s)

~~Do you mean the recording studios or just the locations (i.e. New York City)~~ done Crystal Clear x3 15:30, 6 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Teen pop is a subgenre of pop music and as far as i see teen pop is sourced so don't you think removing pop from genres will be fine?

done

Comment: The rest is great. Jivesh • Talk2Me 08:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Teenage Dream, >>> Teenage Dream (2011),

done

while production and additional writing was done >>> shouldn't this be were?

done

The pop ballad >>> Hmmm, you need to decide now whether you will use pop or teen pop

done

ballad? Is it sourced somewhere below?

yes

Link [[Ballad (music)|ballad]] if the above answer is yes. If no, change to song. It is obvious NLITM is a ballad, nevertheless, Wikipedia wants a sources from most details.

done

The pop ballad speaks >>> is lyrically

done

doesn't >>> Avoid this form >>> does not

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first started dating her husband>>> Hmmm, change it to first started dating her now-'husband

done

Link music critics

done

with some calling it a powerful and lovely song, as well a contemplative ballad, but noticing the song's lyrics refers "very little" to Perry's husband, Russell Brand. >>> some of whom called............ but noticed that ......... make only minimal reference to....

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Russell Brand is linked twice. It should be linked only once.

done

at number fifty-three on Billboard Hot 100 >>> at number 53 on US Billboard Hot 100 chart

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at number forty-one in Canada >>> at number 41 on the Canadian Hot 100 chart

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California Dreams Tour >>> California Dreams Tour (2011)

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Comment: You may have a look at WP:NUMBERS Jivesh • Talk2Me 08:50, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the link!

Background

Do you know which month, year the interview took place?

done

Hello Katy Tour >>> Hello Katy Tour (2009)

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Production and additional writing to song was >>> Shouldn't it be were?

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She considers >>> Better use Perry here

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after they began dating??? Or after their marriage. I am not sure what you wanted to say here. Can you clarify please?

done

track >>> To tell you frankly, i was told in the past to avoid using this word. But i am not sure if it can remain in GAs.

done

which was claiming to know something that you do not really know. >>> Will you be able to do a better wording here? If no tell me, i shall ask someone to do it for you. Feel free to ask if needed.

I replaced "really" with "actually" if that helps...c/e is not my strong suit, and thanks for the offer!

I think it reads better now. Jivesh • Talk2Me 05:23, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: Do you feel background is the appropriate word for the section? What about development or conception? Jivesh • Talk2Me 08:58, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

done

Composition

Perry vocal range >>> Perry's vocal range

done

Link octave

'done

does not feels >>> does not feel

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as one reviewer put it >>> Mention the name of the reviewer and the online site or magazine for which he/she writes.

done

Chris Ryan from MTV Networks >>> MTV News

done

Link melody

done

During the chorus >>> add a comma after chorus and link the latter [[Refrain|chorus]]

done

Perry sings about holding out for a love that it "cinematic and dramatic/With the perfect ending"[6] and later asks if she is a "stupid girl".[7] >>> you need to mention who sated those things.

done

Have a look at this. done

PopMatters staff writer Steve Leftridge considered the track to have a "ho-hum" melody.' should be before this Its melody was compared to Britney Spears' "Everytime" (2003) and Evanescence's "My Immortal" (2003).

done

Another reviewer >>> Again, you need to mention the name, magazine, etc

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considering it >>> considering "Not Like the Movies"

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The song has a basic sequence of A♭5–Fm7–Cm–E♭ as its chord progression. should be after Perry vocal range spans over an octave, from F♯3 to E♭5.

done

Music sample >>> You forgot to place a full stop.

done

Comment: This has been beautifully written. I love it. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:08, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

a contemplative ballad" >>> Finally there is one. In the composition section, replace he word song in he beginning with ballad and link it.
of the USA Today publication >>> of USA Today (only)

done

and recommend readers to purchase the track >>> recommended and remember what i said about the word track?

done

and showcases >>> and that it showcases

done

They concluded >>> They???

fixed

Digital download (dab link) should be linked as [[Music download|digital downloads]]

done

On the week of August 11, 2010, >>> For the week ending August 11, 2010,

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at number fifty-three on the Billboard Hot 100 >>> See comments on lead about numbers etc.

done

track

done

from the digital download sales of about 57,000 >>> selling 57,000 digital downloads

done

Comment: You need the understand the song charted on the hot 100 chart after having debuted on the Digital Songs chart. So, please re-arrange the paragraph. Let me know if you need help. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:23, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

track

done

You have to decide whether you will use present tense or past tense.

done

The song was also performed during the live 53rd Grammy Awards. >>> The song was also performed live during the 53rd Grammy Awards.

done

she sat >>> Perry sat

done

as she sang the lyrics >>> remove the lyrics (It feels repetitive)

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This was the first time that footage had ever been seen. >>> This was the first time that footage was shown.

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MTV Networks >>> MTV News

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Valentine's Day–themed performance coupled with Perry's wedding footage made-up for the swing that "looked like a high school–yearbook photo backdrop". >>> Everything should be between quotes. Link Valentine's Day if a link exists on Wikipedia. I am almost sue there will be one.

done for Vday, not sure what you mean by 'between quotes'

I am doing it for you. Jivesh • Talk2Me 05:24, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

a similar grade??? Not similar

fixed

Comment: I love that picture. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

No issues. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

No issues. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:35, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

References

Ref number 3, Capitol Records is never italicized.

done

Ref number 5 should be only MTV not MTV Networks

done

Inconsistency in format of dates, example, 08-05-2010. Either use the latter form everywhere or write dates in full everywhere.

done

Billboard should be linked and it is now published by Prometheus Global Media

done

Ref number 15 should be MTV News and not just MTV

done

Comment: Good. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:43, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

General Comments

Maybe you could placed a picture of Russell Brand somewhere in the article.

done

Overall, very nice article but it could have been broader. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:43, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:56, 5 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for all of your comments and suggestions Crystal Clear x3 14:24, 6 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You are most welcome. I enjoyed reviewing it because i enjoy Mrs Brand's music. Lol. Feel free to ask me for help whenever needed. And i really appreciate the hard work you did and the time you invested in bettering this page. Katy Perry's songs and album, etc need attention. Not everyone has 5 number-one singles from the same album. With that being said, i hope you continue on this path. Best of luck. Jivesh • Talk2Me 05:28, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

P.S I have passed the article. Congratulations on your first Katy Perry GA. Jivesh • Talk2Me 05:31, 7 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]