Hi, I've done a fair amount of copy editing on the article to bring it up to scratch, other things I think need sorting before pass/fail are detailed below:
Lead - should summarise the article, there's not enough there at the minute.
Have expanded. --Efe (talk) 15:59, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
'Music and lyrics' section needs looking at. The sentence "Champion has explained that the liberating approach of Nelson in recording Parachutes had allowed them to feel at ease in working and get creative: "... it was just like having a fifth member of the band who would just sit there [and take it in]." is pure conjecture as it's not clear from the source that this is what he means. I'm also unhappy about the sentence "With the moods created in the album, Champion has stated that the lyrics, which are "really happy", had resulted to being juxtaposed with a "really sad" music" - Champion is talking about the Lou Reed song 'Perfect Day' and comparing it to Parachutes not talking about Parachutes itself. Clip of "Yellow" needs to be under 30 seconds and also requires a description.
I have removed the clip. --Efe (talk) 15:37, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Tried to clarify. Removed some lines. --Efe (talk)
'Release and reception' should include info on formats the album was released in and details of singles (particularly given that "Don't Panic" was not relesaed in the band's home country) Japanese bonus tracks are mentioned in the tracklisting section but the Japanese release is not mentioned at all in the article.
Done. --Efe (talk) 16:28, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
And that's it! Give me a shout on my talkpage when you've had chance to address my concerns. Cavie78 (talk) 23:06, 28 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Good stuff - passed. Cavie78 (talk) 14:08, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
