Jump to content

Talk:Penny Pritzker/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Slightlymad (talk · contribs) 05:25, 6 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]


@Knope7: I will be doing this. Slightlymad 05:25, 6 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

General comments

[edit]
Resolved
  • Lede
  • 97-1 → en dash not hyphen
  • US $2.4 billion → $2.4 billion
  • These need a comma:
  • As of October 2015
  • In 2009
done Knope7 (talk) 01:07, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Early life
  • Penny has two younger brothers, Tony (born 1961) and J.B. (born 1965). → I would shorten born to "b" by inserting this template, {{abbr|b.|born}}
  • → "He moved", since Donald is the focus of the preceding sentence anyway.
  • In 1972 → needs comma
  • Separate "A.N." with this non-break space template, {{nbsp}}
  • She earned an AB in Economics → drop the abbreviation, and academic fields are not capitalized in the encyclopedia
  • JD and an MBA → unabbreviate
done Knope7 (talk) 01:12, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Pritzker family businesses
  • Need commas:
  • In 1989
  • In 2000
  • In July 2001
  • In 2009
  • In 2011
  • The retirement of Jay Pritizker in 1995 → "In 1995, the retirement of Jay Pritizker...", consistent with your preferred prose style
Mostly done. It looks like another editor made some copy editing changes earlier in the day. I will also note that this article as copy edited before it was nominated. Knope7 (talk) 01:21, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Government and political involvement
  • CNN reported Pritzker → CNN reported "that" Pritzker?
done Knope7 (talk) 01:29, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Personal life
  • Pritzker is married to ophthalmologist Bryan Traubert. The couple has two children. → "Pritzker is married to ophthalmologist Bryan Traubert, with whom she has two children."
  • Separate J.B. with this non-break space template, {{nbsp}}
done Knope7 (talk) 01:57, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Notes
  • Unsourced
the footnote comes right before the citation in the body of the article. I can add a second citation though. Knope7 (talk) 01:57, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • References
  • FNs 13, 20, 38, and 59 are linkrots
  • Gratuitous capitalization of authors at FN 30
  • These citations need a minor tweak. I would eliminate those triple-Ws from the |website= parameter and just type in the name of the publication/website from where they were retrieved in the |work= (e.g. www.artnews.comARTnews; tribunedigital-chicagotribuneChicago Tribune)
Add archives to FNs 13, 20, and 59. Archive cannot be located for FN 38, but there are already 2 citations for the sentence it supports and I don't think every link needs to be working for a Good Article. I don't quite know what you are referring to with the website parameter. Is that within the GA criteria? Knope7 (talk) 02:36, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Should be fixed in no time. Slightlymad 05:25, 6 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I did some slight copyedit and I've resolved the remainder of the issues I raised as I don't think I made myself clear about them. I shall now mark this as a pass given that there's no more problems with the article. Good work. Slightlymad 05:46, 7 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]