Talk:Phallic architecture/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Grapple X (talk · contribs) 02:50, 26 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll tackle this one. GRAPPLE X 02:50, 26 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Just a few comments on the ~~head~~ lead tonight, will get to the ~~shaft~~ body in the morning. GRAPPLE X 03:23, 26 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
"Phallic architecture became prominent in Ancient Egypt and Ancient Greece" -> pipe "Ancient Greece" to just read "Greece", avoids the repetition. If you want to make it clear that they're both from antiquity you could have "ancient Egypt and Greece" instead.
I've given the lead a brief copy-edit for casing and the like, in case you want to check that.
"Phallic shrines are common in Far East Asia, especially in Korea and Japan and are seen as symbols of fertility, especially in Buddhism." -> repetition of "especially".
Changed.♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:42, 26 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

There's a lot of instances of "phallus"; some of these could probably be changed to "penis" for a little variety.

"The Fascists were cited as having an obsession with phallic architecture" -> link to Italian Fascism for a bit of context

" ASEAN/Pacific Rim nations" -> " ASEAN and Pacific Rim nations".

Entirely unconnected to this review, I'm just wondering if a vaginal architecture article based on things like the Sheela na gig, yoni, or dilukai would be possible. Seems like it might be a little on the tight side but they'd make a good pair if it were possible.

"A symbol of American pride and "the ultimate sign of American phallic power", it was inaugurated on May 31, 1931." -> attribute that quote in-text

"Nouvel claims it to be inspired by a geyser and the nearby mountain of Montserrat, although he does note its phallus-like appearance." -> use "phallic"

"as well as hugely, immensely, mega-phallic." -> definitely word this as a quote and attribute it.

Keep any date formatting consistent; for instance we have "It was completed on January 31, 1848. In a Journal review, dated 17 October 1911" which mixes two styles right beside each other.

"too rude and phallic-like" -> "phallic" is already an adjective, "-like" is redundant here
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:
Ref 17 needs looked at; there's a problem with the ISBN.

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
"Candi Sukuh temple of Ngancar, East Java, was built in the 10th century and is dedicated to Shiva and is evidence of Tantric ritual in Hinduism and the fertility cult practiced at the time and preoccupation with the lingga. The temple has numerous reliefs graphically depicting sexuality and fertility including several stone depictions of a copulating penis and vagina. It consists of a pyramid with reliefs and statues at the front. Among them is a male statue clutching his penis, with three tortoises with flattened shells. The temple once had a striking 1.82 metre (5'11.5 ft) representation of lingga with four testicles; this is now housed in the National Museum of Indonesia. Phallic references were also made in Khmer architecture in Cambodia, and several Khmer temples depict the phallus in reliefs." -> Unsourced.

" In Thailand, the phallus is also considered to be a symbol of good luck and representative of fertility. There are numerous shrines in the country featuring phallic architecture. Chao Mae Tuptim shrine in Bangkok, behind the Swissôtel Bangkok hotel has several dozen pink colored circumcised penis statues which are said to possess special cosmic powers and endow good fortune and fertility on anybody coming into contact with them. Near Erdene Zuu Monastery in Övörkhangai Province of Mongolia is Kharkhorin Rock which contains a massive statue of a penis raised on a platform on the steppe. The statue has dual functions; primarily it is a reminder to the monks to remain celibate, but it is also a symbol of fertility and human life. A smaller statue of a phallus was built nearer the monastery at a later date. Haesindang Park (also known as "Penis Park") in Gangwon Province of South Korea, located about 20 kilometres (12 mi) south of Samcheok, is a nature park which contains a number of erect statues. A tragic legend shrouds them in that a virgin was once swept out to sea and drowned, unable to be saved by her lover. The townspeople were devastated and helpless, and a curse appeared to have been cast over them, ruining the local fishing industry. One day, a local fisherman relieved himself in the sea and miraculously the fishing industry revived. He discovered that her restless spirit could be appeased in such a manner, so the townsfolk compensated for the woman's inability to consummate beyond the grave by placing sexually potent phallic statues in view of the shore." -> This is all cited to ref 39, which is a book on Korea. Is the Thai material also present in this source?
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
"In some Asian countries such as Bhutan, many have a belief that a phallus brings good luck and drives away evil spirits. Symbols are routinely painted outside walls of the new houses and carved wooden phalluses are hung (sometimes crossed by a design of sword or dagger) outside, on the eves of the new homes, at the four corners.[40] On a road drive from Paro airport to Thimphu explicit paintings of phalluses are a common sight on the white-washed walls of homes, shops and eateries.[40] In the Chimi Lhakhang monastery, the shrine dedicated to Drupka Kinley, several wooden penises are used to bless people who visit the monastery on pilgrimage seeking blessings to bear a child or for welfare of their children. The glaringly displayed phallus in the monastery is a brown wooden piece with a silver handle, a religious relic considered to possess divine powers and hence used for blessing the spiritually oriented people. It is also said to prevent quarrels among family members in the houses which are painted with these symbols.[40]" -> Nothing wrong with the content, it's fine; just not sure it's architecture so much as art and religious custom.
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Yeah
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Fine
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Lead image could probably be reduced in size, in my browser it takes up the entire height of the lead which looks a bit odd. Don't specify a width, this'll bring it to 220px wide by default (currently 350px wide so it'll be about 2/3 the size). If you want to keep the monument itself the same size, the image license allows for modification so you could upload a crop that removes the skyline, which would go some way towards this while still keeping the actual subject the same size.
At a glance, there's a lot of images here; that's not a bad thing but you've got text sandwiched between images on both sides in a few instances. I'd say you could lose the Dionysus Theatre, move the phallic column of Delos down to where that was; I'd also drop the Nebraska State Capitol and Oriental Pearl images too (they're less obvious-looking so aren't as useful as some others). Do keep Priapus and Jules Breton though, as it breaks up the architecture a bit. Any images you drop can be moved the gallery at the bottom, though.
Shouldn't the water tower be beside the section of prose discussing it rather than a good bit earlier?
Removed Neb and Orient. educe lead pic to 250 px. Moved one down. FAs like William Burges have it at 250. Aim to fill in all red links in the next few days..♦ Dr. Blofeld 08:56, 26 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Yep, that's fine. Might be a good idea to include one of the images of the Williamsburgh Savings Bank Tower in the gallery as it's mentioned in the water tower entry towards the end.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Bit of work to be done; going to stick this one on hold. Was quite an interesting read, I have to say. GRAPPLE X 01:19, 29 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Glad you enjoyed it. I tackled your points with considerable thrust.. There was only so much I was willing to emit though, got rather weary.. Your vaginal architecture article does interesting but I run the risk of coming across as an old perv. I might have to ask around to see if anybody will be offended by it first...♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:59, 29 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the delay, went for a nap last night and ended up sleeping through the night. :/ Well, the changes look good, time to penetrate WP:GA and let this one just hang out. GRAPPLE X 17:39, 30 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Couldn't keep it up all night eh? Thanks anyway.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:46, 30 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]