Talk:Pitfalls/GA1
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Reviewer: Lordtobi (talk · contribs) 10:08, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
Immediate failures
[edit]It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria
It contains copyright violations
(Earwig's says copyvio has a probability of 58.8% because Google Play is using the lede from your article.
)
It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid
It is not stable due to edit warring on the page
Prose notes
[edit]Lead
[edit]They recruited a cellist, violinist, and classical choir for the production.
– Does 'they' in this case refer to the group or the recording studio?Most of the songs were written and composed by vocalist Einar Solberg.
– Given the preceding sentence, it is not immediately clear that this is the group's vocalist, not any vocalist they hired.Pitfalls charted higher than Malina (2017)
– Consider mentioning that Malina was the previous album by Leprous.
Production
[edit]... at Ghostward Studios in Stockholm, Sweden with ...
– Add a trailing comma after 'Sweden'.Thirteen were ultimately made, but only nine could be completed due to time constraints.
– I suppose this should say "Thirteen songs". I would also clarify how far 'made' goes here, i.e. they began recording but could not do all recordings in time.
- I like to avoid repetition. Both "recorded" and "songs" appear closely behind this sentence. "made" was the best word to describe the information without repetition. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- Indeed, repetition should be avoided, but keep WP:ELEVAR in mind. "Thirteen" here could refer to any noun in the prior sentence; out of the given context, I initially assumed the "halves of the songs" were the ones they made. As for the word "made", I commonly associate it with completion. "planned" might be a suitable alternative. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
He saw Pitfalls as the largest production and musical departure yet ...
– Clarify here that it was the largest production for Leprous, not overall."I Lose Hope" was frowned upon in its infancy, but reached new potential in studio ...
– This should probably say "in the studio".
- "in studio" rings correct, like "in hospital". Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- Interesting. Grammarly marks this as incorrect and I cannot seem to find any online resources on the matter (even the source you cite uses both versions). But alas, this is not a GAN obstacle. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
... at which point drummer Baard Kolstad and Børven applied
– Consider swapping the names for a better flow.A classical choir in Belgrade, Serbia was booked
} – A trailing comma here also.
Promotion
[edit]and "2LP" here.... as a limited mediabook CD with two bonus tracks, jewelcase CD, 2LP vinyl record ...
– I would clarify both "CD"
- Not sure how to clarify 2LP. LP really just means vinyl record, so there's two of them, contrary to 1LP. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
A link to LP record might be handy.LPs are vinyls of a specific size and tend to differ from EPs and singles. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
Inside Out,accompanied by a source,should also be mentioned here.
- Mentioned Inside Out, but no need to add source. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- Well, in this case there already were sources for this
. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- Well, in this case there already were sources for this
Reception
[edit]In the reviews table, I would use the more accurate "8.7" score from Blezt, rather than the star-ratings system.Prog, PopMatters, Sputnikmusic, Ultimate Guitar, and drummer Mike Portnoy included ...
– If Portnoy is mentioned to be a drummer, the other four entities should be classified as magazines to avoid ambiguity."Observe the Train" was viewed as a calming interval ...
– Make sure that the reader is still aware that this is Araneda's opinion.
Track listing
[edit]The commented-out refs (which assume are used to verify the track lengths) are probably not a good choice here. Considering adding them to the respective total lengths.- The table for the bonus tracks shows the total length of the entire album rather than only the sum of the two songs. Is this intentional/common practice?
- I wondered that myself, but found that a featured article had done it that way. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- If it works there, it'll also work here. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
Personnel
[edit]Ogendal is not mentioned before this point. I would add an in-line source for them as was done for other not-previously-noted entries. The commented-out ref is thereby redundant.
Charts
[edit]Same note as in the lead; mention briefly that Malina was their previous album to establish context.Swap the two sources at the end of the sentence to obtain numerical order.
Notes/references
[edit]For accessibility, I would add|trans-title=
params for non-English sources.
- Used Google Translate. Adjust if you see something wrong with the German translations. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- Google Translate is fine since we're only dealing with accessibility. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
For sources hosted on YouTube, I would mention YouTube as the website.
GA criteria
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Comments
[edit]- @Cognissonance: Incoming, my first GA review, so I hope I covered everything. Overall, the article is well-written and comprehensive, pretty much meeting all GA standards. I pointed out a few minor issues above. Once fixed, I'll be happy to promote the article to GA status. Regards, Lordtobi (✉) 10:08, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- @Lordtobi: I did almost everything and left some notes above. Cognissonance (talk) 17:12, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks, I left additional replies in-line. Lordtobi (✉) 18:43, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- @Lordtobi: Finished with the rest. Really appreciate the review, which was perfectly done. You can ask for my help anytime. Cognissonance (talk) 19:03, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
- In that case, I think we're done here. Cheers! Lordtobi (✉) 19:10, 11 January 2020 (UTC)