Talk:Polistes versicolor
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![]() | This article was the subject of an educational assignment in Fall 2014. Further details were available on the "Education Program:Washington University in St. Louis/Behavioral Ecology (Fall 2014)" page, which is now unavailable on the wiki. |
Peer Review
[edit]Well done! I really like the detail in this article and feel like I learned a lot about Polistes versicolor. I made a few grammatical changes in each section that just helped improve the flow of the paragraph. Also I removed the arrows that seemed to be appearing in each section as they were unnecessary. Another thing I did was add more links to the page on words that I thought would be considered jargon and needed further explanation. This will just help whoever is reading the page in the future better understand what is going on. Overall I thought you did a really nice job and had a substantial amount of good details for each section. Amy Krause( Amy Krause) — Preceding undated comment added 04:22, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]I really enjoyed reading your article. There is a lot of great information and it is well organized. Most of my suggestions are in attempt to make your article more coherent. This is mainly through sentence structure, grammar, and a couple of detailed additions.
I added the "Wiki Project class and importance rank" box to your talk page. I also bolded the common name in the overview description. Not sure if this is protocol, but I think other articles commonly do this.
I think your overview should include more information about what insects are considered prey for this wasp. I also think your overview would benefit from a brief account of the nesting preferences and colony behavior seen in this species. It can be brief, but Dr. Strassman said the overview is kind of like an abstract, so adding little information from each of your categories will make it more thorough.
I think it would more sense to make the Winter Aggregations category a subsection of the colony cycle. They are connected, so it doesn’t seem very logical to completely separate them as sections. This is just a suggestion as a reader!
I linked a couple of words in Nest Construction, Division of Labor, Genetic Relatedness, Agriculture, and Stings.
I also suggest you add more citations (even if they're from the same source) within your descriptions in Division of Labor, Reproductive Suppression, and Genetic Relatedness categories. The long paragraphs with only one citation is not ideal, so just add a couple in between or when you change from one idea to another.
The first sentence in the Reproductive Suppression section should be reworded due to its messy phrasing. The confusing order of information makes it hard to understand. Instead of having the conjunction “Because” and “But” start multiple sentences in your article, I changed them to “Since” and “However.” It is generally advised to not start sentences with conjunctions like but and because; good substitutes are however and since. Feel free to change them to other sufficient transition words.
I changed a lot of your wording and sentence structure in Defense and Diet. I also found a lot of run-on sentences throughout your article. I changed a lot of them, but I have quoted a handful below for you to change. I am not sure how you want to break them up, but they need to be simplified; this can be through multiple sentences and the use of the semicolon. At the moment, they are just too long and are confusing. So break up the content and be more concise with the information. It'll make the information easier to digest and a more coherent read.
In Costs and Benefits of Sociality :
"90.06% of colonies founded by a single female Polistes versicolor fail because the foundress abandons the nest after the founding phase before the larvae appear to find other foundresses to associate with."
"Evidence for the establishment of sociality as an optimization strategy for the Polistes versicolor can be seen in the frequent shift in females between adjacent nests, whether they be females with developed eggs in their ovaries or workers, even if the relatedness between the shifting females and the foundresses of the new nest are considered to be low."
"The fact that the overt dominance behavior and aggression among females significantly lower than that found in other paper wasps despite the low genetic relatedness within and between nests shows how important sociality is as a strategy for the yellow paper wasp."
I also think you should talk more about the parasite at the end of the Defense category. You briefly reference it and leave the reader hanging. Give us more information about the parasite and how it affects the wasp's behavior and nesting habits.
I really enjoyed reading your article, and I hope my comments are helpful and constructive! Great job. Chiararosenbaum (talk) 00:20, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
Peer Edit
[edit]Hi Diana! Nice job; this is a terrific article with a great deal of detailed information! Most of my edits focused making your language flow a little bit better and correct a few grammatical errors, but overall this was awesome! I think that in order to make this article even better, you may want to expand your introduction so that it is more of an abstract for your piece, maybe take on fact from each section to give a readers a sneak-peak at your article? I “unbolded” Yellow Paper Wasp in your intro, and I would encourage you to try to figure out a way of making “Yellow Paper Wasp” a page that links to your species’ page, as they are the same. I would also encourage you to add more hyperlinks to your sections, especially in the section on “Reproductive Suppression”, as it gets fairly technical. In addition, I was so happy to see how in-depth each of your sections were that I found your “Effects of Human Activity” section a little lacking. I would suggest either adding information to that section or distributing that information into the subsections. I would also consider re-ordering some of you sections; perhaps your “Sting” and “Agriculture” sections should come after the “Effects of Human Activity Section” as all of these sections are related to the species interactions with individuals not in their species. Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this article! Kaykup (talk) 00:34, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
Copyright
[edit]See ENI. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 23:41, 21 December 2014 (UTC)
Copyright Issues Addressed
[edit]I worked to address copyvio concerns and restructured the writing in the article. I have uploaded it onto the temporary page created for this article. Thanks for all your help. Diana He819 (talk) 1:03, 13 January 2015 (UTC)
Peer Edit
[edit]Hello! This article was a very interesting read and I learned a lot about the social behavior of these wasps, especially the relationship between the queen and other females in the colony. I see that defense and stings are discussed in different sections, separated by the "Agriculture" section; yet these two categories reference to the idea of protection from predators and could thus be combined into possibly one section of “Defense” where "Stings" could be a subsection. Great job on this article! Cmbakwe (talk) 20:11, 10 September 2015 (UTC)