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Talk:Premaloka

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Article needs rewriting and attention from more experienced user

[edit]

This article has some serious issues in tone. Puffery and colloquialisms are used pervasively throughout the article. I've pointed out some obvious ones with inline tags. In particular, the second paragraph of the lead section is very poorly written - it it composed mostly of opinion and even uses the first person at one point.

I'd be bold and fix it myself, but I think the problem lies much deeper than that. Not only is the article completely devoid of citations, it is also greatly lacking in material formatted as factual statements rather than opinion. For this reason, I (for the moment) have avoided following the usual rule of outright deleting material that can't be sourced, as that would cut down the article length by at least 75 percent. As a novice editor, I'm wary of doing this. Also, I think a rewrite is in order, which I'm not confident in my ability to do. Therefore I think this article needs the attention of somebody with more experience than me. Paulwe2 (talk) 00:03, 29 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The article is coming along excellently! I had a quick look and noticed that there are more citations, which is good. I added some section templates to point out where work is still needed. Sorry for tagging and running, but I don't really have the time or knowledge to fix this at the moment. Paulwe2 (talk) 22:25, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]