Talk:R2K: The Concert/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:04, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will review this one tomorrow! --K. Peake 10:04, 25 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Pipe Araneta Center to Araneta City in the infobox Done
The alternate title is not sourced anywhere in the body -- removed
Add a comma after tenth studio album Done
The first para is only three sentences long; maybe add another notable sentence, like the one about Velasquez being nervous? -- I've added another sentence providing information on the producer/promoter and sponsors instead. Perhaps it is also notable to include it in the lead similar to other concert articles.
"Buttefly" → "Butterfly" Done
The inspiration sentence should be the second sentence of the second para instead Done
The set list including songs from her previous albums is not directly mentioned in the body's prose Done -- I've added in the synopsis
"as well as covers of pop hits" → "It also featured covers of pop hits" with the pipe Done
"during the shows." → "during the concert." also, this should be next to the critical reception in the third para instead Done
Pipe music critics to Music journalism Done
The best shows in Asia accolade(s) is not sourced Done Removed. Forgot it was still in the lead, after I have removed it in the body from prior a copyedit

Img looks good, apart from the sold out part not being sourced anywhere in prose
"The cover album contained remakes" → "The cover album contains remakes" with the pipe Done
Wikilink music videos Done
[1] is invoked too much per WP:OVERCITE; apart from the first sentence because that is non-consecutive, only cite after the fourth Done
"a commercial success: it sold over" → "a commercial success, selling over" Done
"in its second week of release and earned a" → "in the second week of release and earning a" also, add the organization that certified it Done -- added music certification organization
"she performed in small venue tours[3] which" → "Velasquez performed in small venue tours,[3] which" Done
Only invoke [6] after the second sentence Done
Brian Mcknight → Brian McKnight with the wikilink Done
Remove commas around Viva Concerts Done
[9] should only be cited once in the sentence Done
Pipe Folks Art Theater to Tanghalang Francisco Balagtas Done
"big show coming up"." → "big show coming up."" per MOS:QUOTE, if this is a full sentence Done
[10] should not be invoked after the first sentence of the second para; the others are fine per them being quotes and one the last sentence Done
Video looks good!
[15] should only be invoked once in the Paul Abdul sentence Done
Pipe Rajo Laurel to Laurel family (Philippines) Done
[18] should only be invoked once in the two consecutive sentences solely citing this ref Done

Apart from the sentence where two refs are used, [12] should only be invoked once after a group of consecutive sentences Done
""Larger than Life" before" → ""Larger than Life", before" Done
"of "One Love" then went directly" → "of "One Love", transitioning directly" with the pipe per MOS:LINK2SECT and shouldn't you mention who all the songs covered are by? Done I have attributed/mentioned the artists where possible, except for when it's a medley/mash-up, to avoid WP:SEAOFBLUE
Img looks good!
"falling out of love before" → "falling out of love, before" Done
""For the Love of You" where Velasquez" → "For the Love of You", where Velasquez"
[12][19] duo should only be invoked once for the first two sentences Done
The third sentence should cite [19] after the comma, followed by [12] after the full-stop Done
"of "Sana Maulit Mulit" before continuing" → "of "Sana Maulit Mulit", before continuing" Done
Remove wikilink on pyrotechnics Done
After [20], [12] should only be invoked at the end of the closing sentence Done

Wikilink pyrotechnics on the quote box, also do not use double quotation marks inside other ones -- the term referred by Lo in the quote actually describes "vocal pyrotechnics" (an alternative to vocal abilities, etc). So I did not link. Also removed double quotation marks
"The concerts received positive responses from critics who" → "The concert was met with positive responses from critics, who" Done
The second sentence of Ricky Lo's review should be put into your own words more, especially when there is a quote box from him Done reworded this to avoid quoting the paragraph in the article
"began his review with" should have a comma after it if the sentence from the original source begins at this point Done
"pop artist has"." → "pop artist has."" per MOS:QUOTE Done
Remove wikilink on Celine Dion Done
"called it "the most" → "noted "the most" Done
"her costumes as "grand and lavish" while" → "Velasquez's costumes as "grand and lavish", while" Done
Mention the writer instead of attributing the comments to the Manila Standard, also the speech marks are not ended Done
Same as above for attribution of the Philippine Daily Inquirer comments Done
"It previewed multiple snippets of" → "The film featured previews of multiple snippets of" Done
[23] should only be invoked after the second of the two sentences per WP:OVERCITE Done

Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between personnel and roles Done

Copyvio score looks slightly high at 45.2%; cut down direct quoting from Ricky Lo in reception Done cut down on direct quoting per reception comments above
For any citations that are through Google Books, add the via parameter only wikilinking on the first instance Done
WP:OVERLINK of Philippine Daily Inquirer on refs 4, 7, 8, 10, 11, 17 and 19 Done
WP:OVERLINK of Viva Concerts on ref 9 Done
WP:OVERLINK of The Philippine Star on refs 14, 18 and 22 Done
Use two separate parameters for the authors and cite last name followed by first on ref 20 Done
WP:OVERLINK of Vivamax on ref 23 Done

On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice work on this! --K. Peake 09:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your thorough review @Kyle Peake: I have addressed the above points and provided a few comments in blue to support changes made. Let me know if I may have missed anything or if there are items that remain unaddressed. Thanks Pseud 14 (talk) 14:03, 26 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

✓ Pass now, good work from you even though I made a couple of copyedits! --K. Peake 16:27, 27 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Kyle Peake! Much appreciate your review and the improvements/edits you've made. Cheers! Pseud 14 (talk) 17:16, 27 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]