Talk:Raiden (Metal Gear)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 16:35, 12 July 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   "appearing as a trained member of the FOXHOUND special forces participating in his first mission. " - a word or a comma is missing here. Maybe add "and" after "special forces"?

Done.

1. third "u" in "Sukarua Sutsu" should be an "ū", as you used the Hepburn format throughout

Done.

1. "An organization known The Patriots " - I would add "known as"

Done.

1. "(shown at E3 2005)" - I think this is trivia

Removed.

1. "version of Raiden appears in Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops Plus expansion pack" - in the Metal Gear, as you wrote "expansion pack" at the end

Done.

1. I would just write "AI" instead of with the redundant periods

Done.

1. "(a deleted scene from the original game due to the September 11 attacks)" - I think that should be integrated, ie without the brackets, as that is important

Done.

1. "the decision to make a new character the main playable one of Metal Gear Solid 2 (instead of Solid Snake) stemmed from the developer's desire to develop Snake from a third-person perspective instead of treating Snake like a rookie again." - long and complicated sentence

Trimmed and reworded.

1. Link "VR" (virtual reality?) in Analysis, or describe it

• • Done.

1. The phrases in brackets are distracting; try to eliminate as many as possible and merged the phrases with other

Removed some of them and reworded the others.

1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   Minor: Overlinking of 1Up.com and GameSport

Removed link 1UP in reception. Can't find another GameSpot link in the body.

1. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

   Some of the content in the brackets is trivial and out of place

Reworked.

1. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

2. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

3. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

4. Overall: Minor corrections needed, but otherwise an excellent article. --GoP_T^C_N 20:10, 13 July 2012 (UTC)

   Pass/Fail:

• Pass Very interesting article. --GoP_T^C_N 08:27, 14 July 2012 (UTC)