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Talk:Rhys Williams (Torchwood)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 21:06, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Will review soon. Glimmer721 talk 21:06, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • "Rhys' role is increased after the second series; actor Kai Owen is given star billing from Children of Earth onwards" - unlink Kai Owen as he was just linked above; maybe explain that Children of Earth was a serial that made up the third sereis
    • Done, put in parenthesis.
  • "The character has went on" → "The character has gone on"
    • Fixed
  • "a 2011 BBC/Starz co-production" - BBC doesn't need to be linked again
    • unlinked
  • Anwen is linked in the plot summary section, but not the intro
    • linked in intro too. Also linked Gwen in first section of summary for consistency.
  • "a contrast to Torchwood's activities and it's charismatic leader Jack Harkness" - "it's" should be "its", and link Jack
    • done.
  • Plot summary for "End of Days": briefly explain what the rift is, as it is the first time it has been mentioned. Unless it wasn't the rift after all that erased it from history...
    • mentioned time reset and it being a space-time rift. Think that's all that's needed given that it doesn't relate to much else in the article.
  • "Rhys becomes a main character in the third series of Torchwood, a five-part miniseries called Children of Earth airing in 2009." Add bolded word
    • done
  • "Series four, Miracle Day (2011) begins..." Comma after "(2011)"
    • done
  • "and also has a significant role in The Twilight Streets, (Released March 2008)..." The R in "released" should be lowercase
    • done
  • "...after the Torchwood Team fall are destroyed fighting..." Not sure what the word "fall" is doing there
    • removed
  • "Rhys makes an appearance in the Torchwood Radio Play..." Don't think "radio play" needs to be capitalized
    • removed capitals and linked
  • "With Gwen dead, and Jack missing Rhys is..." No comma after "dead"
    • removed.
  • "Rhys also appears in "The Devil and Miss Carew", (2011) an additional radio play, set between" comma after "(2011)" instead of the title; no comma after "play"
    • fixed
  • "and that his girlfriends job is nothing more unusual" - "girlfriends" should be "girlfriend's"
    • heh, fixed
  • The original intention of the writers had been for Rhys to die at the end of season one but Richard Stokes explains that it was overruled by show creator Russell T Davies" Comma after "season one", link RTD
    • done
  • "Actor Kai Owen attributes part of his character's success to his on screen rapport with actress Eve Myles." Hyphen in "on-screen"
    • done
  • "After reprisal from death Russell T Davies felt" - comma after "death"
    • done
  • Shorten "Russell T Davies" to "Davies" in the second paragraph of "Characterisation"
    • done
  • Stephen James Walker is linked twice in "Characterisation"
    • delinked second occurance
  • "opining that he, along with Barrowman, Myles and David Lloyd managed..." Isn't there a hyphen in "David-Lloyd"?
    • yep
  • "Speaking of the shows fourth series premiere" - "shows" should be "show's"
    • fixed
  • References: episode citation should have the "seriesno" and "number" parameters filled out. Also, clarify the titles of the credited people (writer, director, etc)
    • added series/episode numbers and titles in brackets.
  • Could the Torchwood Magazine refs be expanded with more parameters filled out?
  • Ref #49 and #71 need accessdates
    • Put todays. (#48 and #70 since I took a redundant news article out of the series four plot section)
  • Ref #72 needs a publisher
    • Added. (#71)
  • Disambiguation links
    • Fixed.
  • This warns that ref #74 will expire; might want to grab an archive.
    • Included archived version

Putting on hold for 7 days. Pretty minor fixes though; you should be good to go soon! Glimmer721 talk 21:57, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Think I've taken care of everything bar the references, will double check and comment against each point after I get round to filling those out. Thank you for a very comprehensive review! Eshlare (talk) 22:49, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Update: Just fleshed out all the references where needed. Think everything else has been tackled. Let me know if there's anything I've missed. Thanks again for your time. Eshlare (talk) 00:37, 10 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Looks like everything has been addressed. Passing! Glimmer721 talk 22:00, 10 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]