Talk:Rockwood Lodge/GA1
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:43, 20 September 2019 (UTC)
Comments
- "training facility" is mentioned three times in the opening two sentences, bit repetitive.
- "pro football" a little colloquial in tone.
- "$75,000 in insurance money" not sure what "money" adds here.
- " long term financial" hyphenate long-term here.
- "by Brown County, Wisconsin and" comma after Wisconsin.
- Where is postal address referenced?
- Ref 11 (end of the web page). Do you think it needs an inline citation? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:52, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- It can't harm to add that in there, especially considering I asked where it was referenced, others may ask the same... The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:03, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
- Ref 11 (end of the web page). Do you think it needs an inline citation? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:52, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- Infobox says opened 1947 but it was operational before the Packers started using it.
- "It was located ..." reiterate you're talking about the lodge here.
- "been infatuated with Rockwood Lodge[2]" bit POV, odd ref placement too.
- The source says
No wonder Lambeau, a Green Bay native who visited Door County often as a youth and adult, was smitten with the facility.
I figuredinfatuated
was NPOV enough based on the source, but am open to suggestions. The ref is located there for that specific reason, since it comes across as POV. The rest of the sentence is covered Ref 1, which is located a few sentences farther along. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:52, 23 September 2019 (UTC)- If it was me, I'd add that direct quote "smitten" in quotes rather than re-factor it maintaining the POV! The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:03, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
- The source says
- " their families[4] and" again, I would send that ref to the end of the sentence.
- "would go on to be"->"were"
Nothing more to add at this time so on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:55, 22 September 2019 (UTC)
- Thanks The Rambling Man. I have addressed all the one's without specific replies. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:52, 23 September 2019 (UTC)
- Gonzo_fan2007 no worries, a couple of responses. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:03, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
- The Rambling Man, I addressed the remaining items. Thanks again for the review! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 15:25, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
- Gonzo_fan2007 no worries, a couple of responses. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 12:03, 24 September 2019 (UTC)
- All good, so I'll promote. Nice work. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 17:23, 24 September 2019 (UTC)