Talk:Russian cruiser Bayan (1907)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Starstriker7 (talk · contribs) 07:46, 1 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I will also do this review. --Starstriker7(Talk) 07:46, 1 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 1[edit]

Lead[edit]

  • The other Russian warship articles I've seen have the name of the ship in Russian Cyrillic. If possible, add these.
    • Based on the name in the postcard, I've attached a soft sign to the name. I think that that should make it correct. --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:18, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "During World War I she was modified to lay mines shortly after the war began and laid mines herself and provided cover for other ships laying minefields." - Break up the sentence using commas.
    • Broken into two sentences.
  • "during the German invasion of the Estonian islands in late 1917 and was badly damaged." - Change to "in late 1917, where she was badly damaged"?
    • Done.

Design and description[edit]

  • "In addition four more six-inch guns were added, two on each broadside." - Comma after "in addition".
    • Good catch.

Battle of Moon Sound[edit]

  • "Bayan and the predreadnought Grazhdanin engaged the German minesweepers clearing the minefields guarding the entrance while the predreadnought Slava duelled with the dreadnoughts König and Kronprinz." - This sentence is kind of blocky. Can this be rephrased?
    • How does it read now?
      • I still find it a little blocky, but it is better. I added a few commas too. 00Starstriker7(Talk) 03:18, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 2[edit]

No issues here, as far as I can see.

Criterion 3[edit]

In my experience with these reviews, the article is both sufficiently broad and well-focused.

Criterion 4[edit]

No undue weight is given to any one side. The article is written in a neutral tone.

Criterion 5[edit]

Edit history is quiet.

Criterion 6[edit]

The picture's copyright status is tagged and checks out. No caption is needed here, and the image is relevant.

Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:24, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You are welcome. I am passing it now. --Starstriker7(Talk) 03:18, 3 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Overall comments[edit]

Once again, nice work. As with the Pallada, there are just a few grammar/diction nitpicks. --Starstriker7(Talk) 07:41, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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