Talk:S. F. Light/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Viriditas (talk · contribs) 23:01, 28 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 20:59, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I have never learned anything about zoology or entomology before. I'll review this as a slight introduction to what seems to be an interesting subject. It is a wonderful world (talk) 20:59, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@It is a wonderful world: Thank you for taking this review! I hope to have your concerns addressed in the next 24-48 hours, if possible. Viriditas (talk) 21:12, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose clock

Lead

I think entomologist should be wikilinked, I didn't know what it was before looking it up

Done. Viriditas (talk) 21:53, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Should "Ralph I. Smith" and/or "Light and Smith Manual" be redlinked?

Yes. Viriditas (talk) 21:53, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

most on the subject of entomology: Can be "mainly on entomology" for conciseness

Done. Viriditas (talk) 21:53, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

class syllabus on zoology: Can be "zoology syllabus"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 21:53, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

that had larger appeal: Cut, this is implicit in the fact that he published it

Done. Viriditas (talk) 21:53, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

as it was considered:

Either remove "considered" or attribute if controversial. Otherwise it is weasel wording.
The lead says "was considered", the body later says "is considered". Keep consistent with tense.
- Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:32, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

the first complete compendium: The source uses the words "reasonably comprehensive" which isn't the same as "complete".

Right, but I don't think that's what I intended by using the word. By "complete" I meant the first ever completed about marine invertebrates in California. At the time, there were only two such works in the entire country (if not the world?) Light's Manual, which covered the Pacific coast, and Woods Hole Manual, which covered the Atlantic coast. Neither were complete in any sense of the word, nor could they be, but they were the first "complete' works" in those fields. I see that this wording doesn't work for you, so I will change it. Viriditas (talk) 21:53, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I removed "complete". Viriditas (talk) 21:58, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

California coastal region ~~ever published~~: Can "coastal region" just be coast?

I don't think so. It currently says "north central California coastal region", which is correct based on the original version of the manual. What were you thinking in terms of changing it? Viriditas (talk) 21:56, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Biography

Wikilink "Presbyterian"?

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Light attended ~~university at~~ Park College, Missouri (AB, 1908)

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink "AB", "MA", MS"?

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

he spent time abroad in Asia, teaching for several years in Japan: can be just "he taught for two years in Japan"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

graduate school (MA, 1913), participating in a marine survey: Replacing the comma with "and" makes this read better.

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink "Puerto Galera"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

~~For about four months,~~ from March to June 1912,

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink "ichthyologist"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:41, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

arose out of this period ~~in the Philippines~~: "Stemmed from" may also be better wording than "arose out of"?

Puerta Galera Marine Biological Laboratory: Puerta -> Puerto

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:56, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Redlink "Puerto Galera Marine Biological Laboratory"?

I considered it, and I believe there is another article it might be redirected to here. I will take another look. Viriditas (talk) 21:33, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:56, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink "leave of absence"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 23:20, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink "Science"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 23:20, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

surprising scientists at the time who were unaware -> "challenging previous beliefs"

unaware of their prevalence in the region, previously believing the fish was rare: Says the same thing twice

Perhaps, but the redundancy is sometimes needed. I will take another look. Viriditas (talk) 21:33, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink "history of science discipline"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 23:20, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Light's paper ~~regarding lancelets~~

Done. Viriditas (talk) 23:20, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

George Sarton (1884–1956), the founder of the history of science discipline, was so impressed by Light's paper regarding lancelets that he cited it in his fifteenth critical bibliography of the field for 1924:

Attribute this or cut "was so impressed"
"cited it in his fifteenth critical bibliography of the field for 1924" -> "cited it in his 1924 critical bibliography"
Did Sarton do anything more than just cite it? Like explicitly praise the paper? If not, I don't see how this is notable. I'm sure Sarton cited many papers.
- I believe it is notable as a citation for its time. I will revisit it. Viriditas (talk) 21:33, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

to pursue research on termites -> "to study termites"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:24, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"he worked with the" -> "he joined the"

Not sure about this as "joined" would then precede "joint". What about participated with? Viriditas (talk) 22:24, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"Termite Investigations Committee" can be redlinked.

Done, but not convinced this is needed. Viriditas (talk) 22:24, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

to help find the best way to control the impact of the insects -> ", working to control the insect's impact"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 22:24, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Light's important role on this project was noted by the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) in late 1929: Lacks neutrality, "The American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) said Light had an important role on this project in late 1929" would be better.

written in collaboration with Kofoid: Link Kofoid or cut.

Already linked in the text above, so we don't want to duplicate links. And he's not just a notable co-author, he's also his thesis advisor and mentor. Viriditas (talk)

The book is recognized as "the first reasonably comprehensive treatment of marine invertebrates": Attribute or cut "recognized", I think attribution would be better since it uses a direct quote.

Wikilink "marine zoology" and "invertebrate zoology"

Done. Viriditas (talk) 23:22, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

later publishing it in book form as the Laboratory and Field Text in Invertebrate Zoology (1941) -> "which later became the Laboratory and Field Text in Invertebrate Zoology (1941)". Publishing and book form is implied.

The point here is that Light's syllabus became so popular that he was asked to publish it. I will take another look. Viriditas (talk) 21:33, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

On June 21, 1947, Light drowned as he was swimming in Clear Lake, while fishing on summer vacation -> Was he swimming or fishing?

Great question! I believe the sources say he was on a fishing trip, but drowned while swimming, but I will revisit them again. I used to go swimming in that lake, and it's called "clear lake" for a reason. How he came to drown is a real mystery and no source discusses the details. His death certificate, which should go into a bit of detail at least, is online, but I spent over an hour trying to find it among hundreds of others, and it looks like it is missing. In other words, there is more information about his death available, and the digital record of his certificate is online, but when I go to download it, it appears to be gone. I will try again. Viriditas (talk) 21:33, 4 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]