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Promotional tone

[edit]

@Sc2327 Thank you for your efforts in improving the Sarah Chen article. Upon reviewing the content, I agree that the article has a promotional tone in several areas. Here are a few examples that could be revised:

  • Awards and Achievements Section: The extensive listing of awards and the detailed description of her accomplishments can appear overly celebratory. For instance, phrases like "the only female singer to win both the Golden Bell and Golden Melody Awards" could be presented more neutrally. Consider consolidating the awards into a summarized list with less emphasis on the uniqueness of each achievement.
  • Descriptive Language: Subjective phrases such as "known for her exquisite voice, skillful articulation, and emotive delivery" and "Sarah was absolutely a first-rate singer" highlight her talents in a promotional manner. Replacing these with more objective descriptions would help. For example, "Chen's voice was characterized by its clarity and power" is more neutral.
  • Praise from Peers: Including quotes and praise from colleagues without balancing perspectives can seem one-sided. Statements like "She is the diva of the divas" and "Sarah-ize any song she performed" should be balanced with context or critical viewpoints if available.
  • Legacy and Influence: The emphasis on her cultural influence as the "voice of urban women" and the detailed recounting of her impact should be presented with a balanced view. Including some challenges or controversies she faced can provide a more well-rounded portrayal.

By addressing these points, the article will move towards a more neutral and encyclopedic tone, making it eligible for an upgrade to B-class. Thank you for your contributions and best wishes in your continued work on this article.

Best regards,

Ktkvtsh (talk) 18:20, 12 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Ktkvtsh,
Thank you for upgrading the article on Sarah Chen to Class C. Your comments about how to further improve the article were very helpful.
I have revised the article according to your suggestions, with a specific focus on eliminating the promotional tone. Please let me know if further edits are needed.
Please consider (1) removing the flag of the article for having a promotional tone; (2) upgrading the article to Class B. Thank you!
Sc2327 Sc2327 (talk) 23:52, 18 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Sc2327, very good work. I will remove the notice and have reassessed this article as B. Ktkvtsh (talk) 19:03, 19 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]