Talk:Sarcophagus of Eshmunazar II/GA2
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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 02:26, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
- So now it's here, just had a look at the old GAN, very odd it was failed after three days, when reviewers are supposed to give the nominator at least 7 days to respond to the points brought up... Anyway, have the issues from the last review been dealt with in the meantime? FunkMonk (talk) 02:26, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
- At first there are some duplinks, which can be highlighted with this script:[1]
- Wouldn't this[2] or another fuller image be more appropriate for the main image? The close up could maybe be used elsewhere in the article?
- Link more names and terms in image captions?
- What are the sources for the English translations? Could be listed after each sentence.
- I translated some, I didn't find anything in the Wikipedia regulations about this, and this was not brought up before during other GAs. Please advise how to proceed. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- It would seem from this[3] guideline that it's ok, but I'm not an expert, you may want to mention it in the blurb if you ever take it to FAC. But impressive you can understand it! If any of them are taken from previous translations, they should probably be indicated somehow. FunkMonk (talk) 21:00, 13 September 2021 (UTC)
- I translated some, I didn't find anything in the Wikipedia regulations about this, and this was not brought up before during other GAs. Please advise how to proceed. el.ziade (talkallam) 09:15, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- Did you see this, Elias Ziade? FunkMonk (talk) 23:03, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
- Link Sidon in article body, and add "in modern-day Lebanon" as you do in the intro.
- "was announced on 11 February 1855 in The Journal of Commerce" Any author?
- "He reigned after his father Tabnit I on the throne of Sidon; he died at the premature age of 14, and was succeeded his cousin Bodashtart" To make this less confusing, perhaps say "Eshmunazar II reigned after his father Tabnit I on the throne of Sidon, and died at the premature age of 14, whereafter he was succeeded his cousin Bodashtart"?
- You could preface note 2 with what it is, just skipping to the note makes it pretty incomprehensible what the context of it is. Perhaps the same with note 5.
- "Eshmunazar II sarcophagus-related media on WikiMedia Commons" There is already a template for this right next to it.
- Hey habibi FunkMonk sorry I was away, sorry for the late reply. I will get to work as of now. Thank you for your review man. el.ziade (talkallam) 07:46, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- "The hypogeum contained four rock-cut niches at the ground level the largest of which measured around 2 m (6.6 ft) wide and deep; the other niches measure around 1 m (3.3 ft) in width and are of the same depth" Why change in tense? This happens othe rplaces too.
- "next these lies" Next to these lies?
- "are cut in the rock" Cut into?
- "of the Achaemenid period Sidon" I think "the" isn't needed, or you could say "of Sidon during the Achaemenid period".
- Not a big deal, but it's a bit annoying that you have to hover the mouse over the images in the gallery under "Discovery" to see the text. Could these be made into more regular footer texts that are permanently readable?
- "Dimensions given in de Luynes report are 2.45 metres (8.0 ft) tall by 1.4 metres (4.6 ft) wide." Why are the dimensions different here?
- the official Louvre website figures are more authoritative, let's not forget that measurement conventions were not well established at the time of the sarcophagus discovery. The Louvre measures the sarcophagus at its widest and longest parts. I would very much like to keep De Luynes discrepant measurements here for the readers to consult and to avoid any contention of the louvre measurements by anyone who is familiar with DeLuynes' figures. el.ziade (talkallam) 06:25, 19 September 2021 (UTC)
- "in the style of the Egyptian mummy sarcophagi." Link?
- "The effigy of deceased is portrayed smiling" The deceased, and portrayed as?
- "dedication in Phoenician" Link the language?
- Link Memphis.
- "Later evolution" Pretty difficult to deduct what this title refers to, perhaps add "stylistic" or "impact on local sarcophagi".
- Link Apollo, and why was the cavern referred to by this name? Don't need to mention it if it's irrelevant to the subject.
- " - Acollection of ancient anthropoid Phoenician sarcophagi unearthed in Sidon." Seems a space is missing in the beginning, and sarcophagi doesn't need to be linked down there.
- "The Egyptian-style sarcophagus was free from hieroglyphs" That is too late to link Ancient Egypt, which you have mentioned many times by this point.
- "The Egyptian-style sarcophagus was free from hieroglyphs, it had" Should probably be "and had" or "but had".
- Link hieroglyphs.
- "and measuring 84 cm (2.76 ft) in length and width" Measure.
- "and regular Phoenician characters" What is irregular about the others?
- "As is customary to the Phoenician writing" customary for Phoenician writing would look more natural.
- "cut deeper and rougher from the rest" Than the rest would seem more natural.
- "that they to have been trial carving marks" Too may have been?
- "and warns against disturbing him" Warn, since they are plural.
- "King of Kings" Link?
- Link Hebrew Bible.
- "or hardly any, matres lectionis" You could explain this unfamiliar term in-text, in for example a parenthesis.
- "n without matres lectionis, the letters that indicate vowels in Semitic languages" Seems you link it again and explain it here, but the link should be removed and explanation moved up to first mention.
- "in the Jaffa museum, Israel." You could link the museum, but in general, modern countries aren't linked.
- "in early 1855" By early 1855?
- Why is there a line break after "In the month of Bul, in the fourteenth year of the reign of"?
- "this resting-place, may they not have a resting-place with" Likewise.
- "belong to the Sidonians for ever" Forever. Also a line break for some reason.
- "this engraving forms longest" The longest.
- " His sarcophagus was likely carved in Egypt from local amphibolite." You could add in the intro how it is thought to have been acquired by Phoenicians.
- One thing I couldn't find in the article is what happened to Eshmunazar II's body? Was it found? And if not, this could be specifically stated.
- Like most of the sarcophagi, this one was emptied by ancient grave robbers. Luynes said that only a fragment of a jaw, a tooth and some bone fragments were found in its vicinity. el.ziade (talkallam) 14:17, 30 September 2021 (UTC)
- Alright, do any sources state the part with the grave robbers? FunkMonk (talk) 14:41, 30 September 2021 (UTC)
- Like most of the sarcophagi, this one was emptied by ancient grave robbers. Luynes said that only a fragment of a jaw, a tooth and some bone fragments were found in its vicinity. el.ziade (talkallam) 14:17, 30 September 2021 (UTC)
- I think this looks nice now, and its great that you're still improving articles related to Lebanon, especially considering the horrible situation there currently. I will promote now. FunkMonk (talk) 12:41, 6 October 2021 (UTC)
- FunkMonk I got this on my talk page :( Why is that? el.ziade (talkallam) 13:04, 6 October 2021 (UTC)