Talk:Sheshi/GA1
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Reviewer: Tim riley (talk · contribs) 21:46, 11 November 2015 (UTC)
Starting first read-through. More to follow a.s.a.p. Tim riley talk 21:46, 11 November 2015 (UTC)
- Great thank you, I am looking forward to your review. Iry-Hor (talk) 09:11, 12 November 2015 (UTC)
- Comments and suggestions
First lot; more to come:
- WP:EDITORIAL
- Nothing serious, but there are five "indeeds" in the text, and it wouldn't hurt to lose a couple.
Done I have kept only one! The others were clearly superfluous. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
- Nomen and prenomen on seals
- "Egyptologists universally believe that Maaibre was the prenomen of Sheshi" – that's a very strong claim. Can you prove that absolutely every Egyptologist thinks so? Otherwise I think you should modify this to something like "The consensus among Egyptologists is that Maaibre was the prenomen of Sheshi."
Done, I am yet to encounter a source disagreeing with this but it is better to be safe than to be wrong.
- Location of the finds
- "Over 80% of the seals" – the Manual of Style recommends avoiding the % symbol in prose, and using instead the word form – "per cent" if writing in English and "percent" if in American English.
done, thank you for pointing this out. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
- Location of the finds
- I can't work out your policy on when to give numbers as digits and when as words: "three seals have been unearthed … and a further 8 are from the wider Delta region. Four seals … and a further five…". (The "2 seal impressions" in the previous section looked a bit odd to my eye, too.)
Fixed! I try to write down numbers lower than ten and write the others with digits. The "8" and "2" are mistakes. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
- Vassal of the Hyksos
- It doesn't bother me much, but I notice that in the third para you open a sentence with "Thus" followed by a comma, having in the previous para opened a sentence with "Thus" with no comma. Either is fine (I'd use a comma, myself) but perhaps consistency is desirable.
Fixed. Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
- King of the 14th Dynasty
- I'm probably exposing my ignorance here, but if I am right in thinking "Hyksos" has an aspirated H (as in the English "Henry" or German "Heinrich" as opposed to the French "Henri") then I think "was an Hyksos king" should be "was a Hyksos king". Same in the lead.
I must say I actually have no idea: as I am not a native English speaker, my pronunciation is not reliable. I will follow you on this! Iry-Hor (talk) 08:27, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
After a further reading I have found no more points to quibble at, and it gives me much pleasure to promote the article to GA.
Overall summary
[edit]GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- Well referenced.
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- Well referenced.
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Well illustrated.
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- Well illustrated.
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
Tim riley Thank you for your review! I will nominate Sheshi at FAC some time soon. Iry-Hor (talk) 21:55, 15 November 2015 (UTC)