Talk:Siege of Almería (1309)/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 16:30, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
Will take this review on over the next couple of days. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 16:30, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
- No copyvio... Eddie891 Talk Work 16:41, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
- ... no DAB links... Eddie891 Talk Work 16:41, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
- ... regular links are fine Eddie891 Talk Work 16:42, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
- cite #25 (Manzano Rodríguez 1992, p. 348.) doesn't point anywhere Eddie891 Talk Work 16:42, 8 June 2020 (UTC)
- Comments
- Lede could probably be split into two paragraphs
- "jointly with a similar campaign by their neighbour Castile" er, I'm not positive I understand this phrasing, could you try and clarify? (was it a joint campaign or just a similar one?)
- Tried to clarify: "was the initial Aragonese target in a joint Aragonese-Castilian campaign aimed at conquering Granada". Would this work? The idea is both were campaigning to conquer Granada, but only Aragon was involved at Almeria. I'm open to other suggestions too. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- "
hadprepared for the siege by strengthening" not really needed? - "and caused trouble in Granadan territories" could you specify?
- "The Emirate of Granada was the last remaining Muslim state on the Iberian peninsula." might consider beginning with "In 1309" or "By 1309" to give the reader an easy anchor
- "Granada was allied with another Christian kingdom, Aragon" couldn't hurt to add where Aragon is in relation to Granada?
- "who began to make plans" maybe add an "who all began to make plans"?
- The pope granted James II two thirds of the decima" is there a link you can put in?
- "The Emirate of Granada not only had to defend Almería on its eastern front." perhaps "... had to defend Ameria on multiple fronts"?
- "to be clearly exaggerated" is the 'clearly' needed?
- "resisted by pouring boiling oil and other flammables" mildly unclear who they poured it on?
- "and forcing the assault to be aborted" this wouldn't really be one of the ways they resisted, more the result of the assault?
- Rewrote sentence. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- "claiming to kill 22,000 inhabitants" perhaps add a date and add a "claiming that they"?
- "dressed as Muslims" this may be really stupid of me, but how could they dress as a Muslim?
- "came out of the ambushes too soon" how does one come out of an ambush?
- "ambushes" here means "concealed positions". Changed to clarify. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- "Most of them managed to reenter the city via the side entrance that happened to be made ready to open the day before, but some were left behind...they managed to reenter the city." perhaps you could remove the repetition of 'managed to reenter the city'?
- Done. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- "but served as a skillful diplomat in negotations with James II." is it really neutral to call him 'skillfull'?
- "were tempered by the loss of to Castile"?
- Oops, added "the lost of Gibraltar"
Very nice article, some minor comments, feel free to discuss/ ask for clarification on any/all things. These comments are rather subjective, so I won't feel offended if you don't like any/all of them. Source review to follow... Eddie891 Talk Work 01:01, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- @Eddie891: Thank you for the helpful comments. I've replied, mostly applying your suggestion/feedback and also asking some queries. Let me know what you think. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- It looks much better, thanks! I'll be checking Harvey shortly to assess the referencing quality... Eddie891 Talk Work 18:21, 13 June 2020 (UTC)
- cite 15b says that the quote is 'Allah', not 'God'
- might be missing something, but I don't see " It meant that there was a short time before the weather got cooler, and if the siege lasted until winter it would be an advantage for the defenders who did not have to be out in the field" in the source on the cited page...
- page numbers for ref #24 are somehow off
Didn't check all the sources, but they seem to be high quality, and generally support the text, so I'm satisfied. Let me know if I just didn't see something-- I have been known to suffer from temporary not-reading-the-whole-page-ness. Eddie891 Talk Work 18:50, 13 June 2020 (UTC)