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Talk:Stark Raving Dad/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.



Looking nice. Just a few comments:

  • The Plot section gets a little confusing with the switching between "Jackson" and "Michael" when his full name isn't being used. First is Not knowing who Jackson is, Homer believes him, and thereafter just "Michael" is used. I understand it does go from "Jackson" being an actual (real-life) person to being a character who the characters and audience get to know on a somewhat more "personal" level... but it's still a little off-putting when you're reading and people's names are changing!
    • Fixed.
  • the cast of the show did a read-through of the script at Jackson's managers' house - just clarifying that this means Jackson had more than one manager (owning the same house). If not, "manager's house" is correct.
    • Done.
  • While he recorded the voice work for the character, all of his singing was performed by Kipp Lennon,[4] because Jackson wanted to play a joke on his brothers - what was the joke? Only leaves the reader to guess.
    • There's really not much more to add because that's basically all they say on the commentary. However, I have tried to clarify it.
  • Bart replies "hey, we're just like the Waltons. We're praying for an end to the Depression, too". - comma after "replies", and the full-stop/period at the end should be inside the quotes as he's speaking a full sentence.
    • Done.
  • Prince hated the writer's script - "writers'"?
    • Done.
  • "Beat It" should be capitalised and in quotes, not italics.
    • Done.
  • Michael says he was upset when his Off the Wall album only received one Grammy Award nomination, the writers had read that the real Jackson was genuinely upset - doesn't make sense as a standalone sentence; play around and add some words in, perhaps.
    • Done.
  • In it's original airing on the Fox Network - "its" not "it's"; also, is "On" better than "In" to begin the sentence?
    • Done.
  • Image:Stark Raving Dad.PNG isn't low-res like it should be per the fair use criteria. It doesn't need to be much larger than it appears in the infobox.
    • Done.

Otherwise, nice work. The GAN will be on hold for a week, and it shouldn't take you too long to get these things sorted out. Good luck :) —97198 (talk) 07:40, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I would have had this done earlier, but I just noticed this. Thanks for the review! -- Scorpion0422 16:19, 2 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Awesome, everything looks good. I'm happy to go and promote this to a GA. :) —97198 (talk) 02:12, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.