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Talk:Tessa Noël/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Hi, nice to see some of your work again after your second season FL. Below are my comments.--Music26/11 11:48, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, good to see you again ! Rosenknospe (talk) 19:44, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

  • At some points the lead jumps from past to present tense, example "Tessa was introduced in the pilot episode "The Gathering", first shown in 1992, and appears in all subsequent episodes..." This should be either "Tessa is...", or "and appeared...".
  • She returned after she was killed, how? As a ghost? In flashbacks? Please clearify.
  • This could just be me, but "Tessa was intended to be MacLeod's mortal companion..." sounds like her character was changed, particularly because of the word "intendend". Perhaps "Tessa was created as MacLeod's mortal companion..." or simply "Tessa is MacLeod's mortal companion..." would be better.
  • I'm sorry, because this one might be a lot of work, but the way you refer to the characters should be similiar. You refer to Tessa Noël as Tessa, but to Duncan McCloud as McCloud (last name and first name).
    • Note: Maybe first names would be better, so you can seperate Duncan from Connor McCloud.--Music26/11 11:53, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      • Well, those are their most commonly used names. Only Tessa calls MacLeod "Duncan" and not always so, the others say "MacLeod" or "Mac" so I think using "Duncan" everywhere would look a bit awkward, just not right, you know, like calling House "Gregory". The same goes for Tessa, the only people calling her (Miss) Noel are perfect strangers; most of the time she's just Tessa. Connor is only mentioned once by full name, and the next occurrence of "MacLeod" has "Duncan" in front of it to clarify. (It's a recurring problem in Highlander articles; too many MacLeods ;)
      • I feel they're named the proper way; if this doesn't satisfy you though, I can change it, and it's not much work at all, I can automate it. Rosenknospe (talk) 20:00, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Background

  • The way the actor's name is mentioned should be the same, "Alan Rothwood, played by Anthony Head" is okay with me, but either change "Christoph Kuyler (Peter Howitt)" to "Christoph Kuyler, played by Peter Howitt" or put Head's name in brackets behind Alan Rothwood. This problem occurs various times in the article, please choose one way and fix all the actor names.
    • This has been done during copyediting to break the monotony of the article and for better prose, but if it doesn't feel right, how about I put all the names of the actors playing minor characters between brackets and leave the main actors in prose ? Rosenknospe (talk) 21:00, 30 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • This sentence "Walking through the ballroom in Alan's house, Tessa recounts...", it's a bit close to In-Universe writing, maybe you should contact a copy-editor to take a look at the article.
  • Various quotes in the section could be changed to sentences, which might make you help fix the above concern.
  • This is just my opinion, but perhaps it would be better if the background section would be merged with the Character's story arc section and create one central "Arc" section.

I'm a bit slow, so I'll problably finish later today or friday (since I won't be able to tomorrow due to Queensday). The page is on my watchlist, so you don't have to send me a note if you're done. Good Luck.--Music26/11 11:48, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'll do the rest tomorrow. Rosenknospe (talk) 20:06, 29 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done. I understand you're in the Netherlands, sorry about what happened today. Rosenknospe (talk) 21:50, 30 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It's surprising how fast something like this becomes world news, anyhow, I'm about halfway through the Arc section, and I'll list my concerns as soon as I'm finished.--Music26/11 13:49, 1 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
You did a nice job on fixing the above concerns, sorry I forgot to mention that.--Music26/11 13:52, 1 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Season One

Be back soon.--Music26/11 14:11, 1 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Season Two

  • How can Richie become an immortal?
    • In the series, people become immortal when they return to life after a violent death, as if nothing happened, just like in the episode. It seems to be random and nobody is aware they're immortal before it happens. I don't know about the technicalities as the producers liked to keep it a bit mysterious. I have reworded the sentence to match this. Rosenknospe (talk) 16:10, 2 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • If "To Be"/"Not to Be" depicts a world in which MacLeod was never born, how can Tessa have an affair with him?--Music26/11 11:20, 2 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Relationship with MacLeod

Character traits

Employment and career

Character concept and development