Talk:The Marshall Mathers LP 2/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk · contribs) 21:12, 19 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

Background

Interesting quote from Mr. Mathers on the album's title, but "Eminem, speaking in October 2013, with Rolling Stone about the album's title" is quite a mouthful. Cut that bit down to something like "Eminem on the album's title".
There should be a comma between "On May 24, 2012" and "Eminem" in the first sentence of the first paragraph.
"He stated that the material is taking shape"..... was taking shape. He completed this a while ago :P.
"Eminem manager Paul Rosenberg" → "Eminem's manager Paul Rosenberg"
"On March 22, 2013 Dr. Dre was interviewed on Big Boy's Neighborhood on Power 106, where he said that he was working with Eminem" is another mouthful. Try something like "On March 22, 2013, Dr. Dre told Big Boy's Neighborhood on Power 106 that he was working with Eminem"
Remove the comma between "The Alchemist" and "appeared on RapFix Live"
"Complex Magazine" → "Complex"

Done STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Release and promotion

Rapture Tour should be linked

Done STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Recording and production

Who is interviewing DVLP? (third paragraph)
Rihanna isn't exclusively a pop singer, so I'd take that bit out on her. Not sure why her nationality is included either in the image caption of her.
In regards to the "sequel" to "Love The Way You Lie" for the Rihanna photo caption, it would probably be better to address it by name. Not everyone is going to automatically know its name.
"Recent years" is subject to change, so that bit should be removed.
"In an October 2013 interview with American Songwriter, "Love the Way You Lie" producer Alex da Kid who, like Khalil, had many production credits on Recovery, said that he has submitted further beats for Eminem, but "you never know what they're going to use or not going to use," just prior to the tracklist's announcement." is another mouthful. Try cutting this down to something like "In October 2013, "Love The Way You Lie" producer Alex da Kid told American Songwriter that he submitted further beats for Eminem, but "you never know what they're going to use or not going to use," shortly before to the tracklist's announcement."

Done STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

Accolades

For some reason, the awards box is left open. It needs to be closed off.

Just a problem with one of the rowspans, I did not think it was going to change anything. Done STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Track listing

Please correct the DAB link to Adam Yauch

Done STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sourcing

Take a look here

Fixed most of them. This excludes the Amazon.com source, they removed the posting of the single so it just redirects to the album page now, suggesting people to buy the album now that it has been released. Digital retailers do this frequently. Should this still be changed? Also did not change the archive.is sources to archive.today as both cannot be added to articles anymore for some ridiculous reason, so if I attempt to alter the url, it will give it away, and the filter log will not let me save the edit without changing it. Which would make the content no longer verifiable. STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

in ref#1, XXL should be italicized, and Harris Publications should be linked. However, only do this linking for the first XXL ref.

LOL, before I knew the work parameter automatically italicized the work. Done STATic message me! 05:35, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Background

in ref#6, RadioPlanet.tv shouldn't be italicized, and should read "Radio Planet"
why are "Respect" magazine and "Musinart." contained in ref#7 when the ref is Rap Radar?
for refs #8, #9, #10, #13, and #14, MTV News should not be italicized.
XXL and Harris Publications should be linked in the first XXL ref, not here in ref#17

Recording and production

Vibe should be italicized in ref#21, and publisher is Spin Media.
in ref#22, "MTV News" again should not be italicized
Rolling Stone should be italicized in ref#23, and please don't forget the publisher Jann Wenner (or Wenner Media)! Be consistent with the other Rolling Stone refs.
publisher for ref#26 (Vibe) is again Spin Media.
"E!" should not be italicized in ref#28.
publisher for ref#29 (American Songwriter) is ForASong Media, LLC.
refs #30 and #31 should read "XXL. Harris Publications"
Is ref#32 from The Source? Please specify this. If it is that, indicate this and include L. Londell McMillan as publisher.
ref#33 should link to HipHopDX, and author is Slava Kuperstein.

Music and songs

"XXL" shouldn't be in the article title for ref#36, and "Xxlmag.com" should read "XXL. Harris Publications".
publisher for Billboard (ref#39) is Prometheus Global Media, not Wenner Media.
see point above for ref#26

Packaging

Probably better to include the tweet from Eminem himself for ref#41, as secondary sources often publish such news a day or two after artists make big announcements and such. Looking into the source provided, I see the ever-so-common (slight) delay occurred here with this ref (which was incorrectly listed as being released on September 20 when it was in fact released September 21).
ref#43 needs to be filled out beyond just a title.
ref#44 should read "HipHopDX" rather than "HipHop DX" (remember consistency)
ref#45 is missing Complex Media as its publisher

Release and promotion

I've said it before and I'll say it again: "MTV News" should not be italicized. Also, "MTV News" and "Viacom" should only be linked in the first MTV ref used, not here in ref#46
refs #52 and #54 should (again) read HipHopDX

Singles

ref#62 should just read "Yahoo!" without the "Yahoo! Music"
for refs #65 and #68, MTV News once again should not be italicized (seems to be a recurring issue).
Not that secondary sources are bad, but again for official releases like this it's often better to use the original source itself (in this case the official video) for ref#66 since secondary sources can be off by a day or so (though in this case it was on time).
ref#73 should read Rap-Up and include its publisher.
publisher for ref#74 (The Music Network) is "The Entertainment Media Group".

Critical reception

publisher for ref#76 (Metacritic) is CBS Interactive. Keep in mind though that Metacritic should not be italicized.
publisher for AllMusic (refs #77 and #92, which are identical and should be combined into one) is missing its publisher All Media Network.
ref#78 needs to be filled out beyond a simple title.
I feel rather skeptical about using New York Daily News (ref#79) and Toronto Sun (refs #84 and #89) (Toronto Star on the other hand would be a fine choice). Probably best to remove these and replace them with something like The Boston Globe and Chicago Tribune in score box. Pitchfork Media and Entertainment Weekly would also be good choices.
The Guardian should be italicized in ref#80, and publisher is Guardian Media Group.
ref#81 should read Los Angeles Times and publisher is Tribune Company.
Rolling Stone should be italicized in ref#82 and publisher Wenner is missing. "By" for author shouldn't be included.
ref#83 should read Spin and is missing its publisher Spin Media.
ref#85 should read USA Today, and its publisher is Gannett Company. Time of day shouldn't be included.
ref#86 also should read XXL and is missing is publisher.
The Boston Globe should be linked and italicized in ref#87, and publisher is John W. Henry.
ref#88 is also missing its publisher and should read XXL.
The New York Times should be linked in ref#90, and publisher is Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr.
ref#93 should read Chicago Tribune in italics and publisher is Tribune Company
ref#94 should read Pitchfork Media and needs to include author.
ref#95 should read Entertainment Weekly in italics and publisher is Time Inc.

Accolades

I've said it before for XXL ref's and I'll say it again for ref#96- should read XXL and needs publisher
"Complex" should be italicized and is missing publisher in ref#97
ref#98 should read Digital Spy without italics, and publisher is Hearst Corporation
ref#100 (Rolling Stone) is missing Wenner publisher
"Spin" should be italicized in ref#101 and is missing its publisher. The title also should read "SPIN's 50 Best Albums of 2013"
PopMatters should not be italicized in ref#102, and publisher is Sarah Zupko.
ref#103 should link to MusicOMH, and publisher is Michael Hubbard

Commercial performance

ref#105 (Billboard) is missing Prometheus Global Media as its publisher
HipHopDX should not be italicized in refs #106, #107, #108, and #110. I see that #110 has Sharath Cherian as publisher. Please use this publisher for all the HipHopDX ref's.
ref#109 should simply read "Yahoo!"
Official Charts Company should be linked without italics in ref#111, not ref#112. Publisher for both is British Phonographic Industry.
refs #113, #114, and #115 are dead.
ref#116 (Billboard) is missing its publisher again
refs #117, #118, and #119 shouldn't all link to "Noise11"
The Wall Street Journal should be linked and italicized in ref#121, publisher is News Corp

Track listing

refer to my point above for ref#30 (XXL)

Coverage

Singles

Since the Billboard chartings for "Bezerk" are mentioned in this section, expand it by including the chartings for the other singles here.

Done Abhinav0908 (talk) 04:13, 25 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

And I cleaned up said edit with correct reference formatting and MOS. STATic message me! 07:10, 25 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Neutrality

No problems here.

Stability

No problems here.

GA Result

The prose is overall quite decent and simply needs some touches. The ref formatting, on the other hand, is an absolute mess. Too many inconsistencies and errors. Use publishers, publication dates, authors, etc. in the same form throughout the article when known. I really, REALLY, hate to have to say this, but this is why it was too soon to nominate this for GA. I'm very sorry to say that I have to fail the GAN. However, I'm willing to give this article another chance at GA once it's had some cleaning up. After spending some time addressing the issues I've pointed out, reach me and I'll re-review. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 04:11, 20 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

So we can both keep track of what I am doing, I shall still post my progess on this page. Lets see where this goes. STATic message me! 04:42, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

After you've done all of that, renominate and I'll reassess. XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk) 05:27, 21 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]