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Talk:The Unquiet Dead/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 18:35, 19 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Image: I would beef up the Fair-Use Rationale on the image page, and then add a little blurb about it under the picture on the actual article's page
  • Intro: Should "Mr Sneed" have a period after 'Mr'? I'm not sure if it is special since the pages uses British grammar.
    • This instance was correct... most of the others were wrong. In British English, abbreviations do not take a period if the last letter of the abbreviation is the same as the last letter of the word abbreviated. --Redrose64 (talk) 22:41, 19 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • Yes it is correct in British English, though it is something I miss a lot.
  • Intro: "Callow, who had researched Dickens as well as portraying him on multiple occasions, accepted to guest star in "The Unquiet Dead" because he felt Dickens was written accurately." I don't know if there is a better way to rephrase this, but you use "Dickens" twice in one sentence.
  • Intro: "As contemporary Cardiff, location of the Doctor Who production, did not have enough Victorian architecture, the episode was filmed in Swansea, and computer generated imagery (CGI) was used as the main visual effect for the Gelth." I feel it might be better to divide up this sentence into two, since the first part talks about location, whereas the second part is about the visual effect, and that doesn't have much to do with location.
  • Plot: "…who were once corporeal beings until being affected by the Time War." -> How about, "who were once corporeal beings until they were devastated by the Time War."
  • Plot: "The Doctor determines that Gwyneth is already dead, opening the rift killed her instantly." -> "The Doctor determines that Gwyneth is already dead, and that opening the rift had killed her instantly."
  • Casting: "Simon Callow, who portrayed Dickens, was considered apt for the role having extensive knowledge of the author as well as experience playing the character and recreating his public readings." -> "Simon Callow, who portrayed Dickens, was considered apt since he possessed extensive knowledge of the author and had experience playing the character and recreating his public readings."
  • Casting: "In the 2011 episode "The Wedding of River Song", Callow returns to reprise his role as Charles Dickens briefly." Should that be 'returns' or 'returned'? I mean, I know TV shows kind of exist as is, but since we're talking about the actor, should his return be in the past tense?
    • Decided to go with "returned". That sentence may have been written around when "Wedding" aired. (I also unlinked Charles Dickens for the same reason...it's been linked in the article already.) Glimmer721 talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Casting: "However, her agent notified Myles of the role of Gwyneth…" I think you can kill "of Gwyneth" since it's already understood what we're talking about.
  • Just a general note, I think every set of quotes should be followed by a citation. I see one in the casting section about Eccleston being Myles "favorite actors of all time", so that needs to be fixed. You might double-check for some others (I see some more at the end of "reception")
  • Filming…: "…and decided to not have any missing facial features." Is this referring to the corpses not looking like stereotypical zombies? That's how I read it, so if that's what it means, never mind this comment…
    • In the context of the sentence it actually means that missing facial features could have been too "scary" or such...they did not want anything too gruesome because of the younger audience members. Should I rephrase it? Glimmer721 talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Filming…: You might just explain real quick who The Mill is.
  • Reception: "…posted a damning review…" is 'damning' a good NPOV word here? Maybe scathing? Or highly critical. I know how tough it can be not to repeat the same phrase over and over and over again in the reception section.
  • Reception: The grade A- should be A– with an en-dash
  • Reception: Man… Robert Smith? has the weirdest name…
  • References: This is more of a suggestion, I usually capitalize every letter in the names for articles (again, if you don't want to, no sweat)
  • References: Also, another suggestion… maybe make this a 2-column section so it isn't so "long"

That's it. Good work. I will put this on hold.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:35, 19 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review! I'm going to chip away at it over this week. Glimmer721 talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, I think all I have to do now is go through the quotes and the image. I'll try to do that in the next couple of days. Glimmer721 talk 01:12, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
No sweat. I'll keep it on my watchlist. Just update here when you're done. It looks good so far.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:56, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Have done the image; it's an old one and not specifically added to correspond with the article, but I think I made it work for now. I also believe I've cited all direct quotes. Glimmer721 talk 01:28, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good. Pass.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 04:23, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]