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GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Shaidar cuebiyar (talk · contribs) 00:38, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Starting the review[edit]

I will be going through each of the criteria below, in order. I reserve the right to return to earlier comments or sections and revise or add to them until my review is finished. Unless otherwise indicated, maintain existing wikilinks and formatting. The review process should take about a week. I will allow an additional week for any requested changes to be made before making my decision. I have no problem with editors starting to fix up the article before I have finished, but caution them that I may not see their improvements until late in my review process: I may refer to problems that no longer exist.

Check the toolbox for any immediately actionable problems.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 00:38, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Currently, the article has two dead links: fix.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:46, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 1[edit]

It is reasonably well written.

a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Infobox
  • Reconcile information summarised here with that in Lead and elsewhere: there are inconsistencies. e.g. Label, Producer entries are different/incomplete.
 Done - only the producer list in the infobox was erroneous; will work to reconcile any contradictions in the lead and else where when I get to them. Philip Terry Graham 23:39, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Consequences: check the Categories: Albums produced by Malay (record producer), Albums produced by Pascal Gabriel. Are these still relevant to this article?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:55, 29 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Fix formatting, e.g.:
    • Released = {{Start date|2016|6|10|df=y}}
    • Length = {{Duration|m=45|s=1}}
    • Label = {{flatlist| * [[Liberation Music|Liberation]] * [[Infectious Records|Infectious]] * [[Glassnote Records|Glassnote]] }} Note: insert a return before each asterisk for the list to format correctly.
    • Producer = {{flatlist| * [[Damian Taylor]] * Ben H. Allen III * [[Justin Parker]] }} Note: insert a return before each asterisk for the list to format correctly.
 Done - all formatted as asked. Philip Terry Graham 23:39, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • At the studio entry (hidden), delink common terms: New South Wales, London, England, Quebec. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:43, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - all common terms delinked. Philip Terry Graham 23:39, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • At least two singles were issued from the album, they should appear in the infobox.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:45, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Not done - this is gonna be hard to explain. I'll try to give you the shortest possible version of my opinions on singles and their role in album articles - I'm one that doesn't believe that singles, which are releases independent of an album used to promote an album, should not be given such glorified positions on pages that aren't about them. This is a page about Thick as Thieves. The infobox should be about Thick as Thieves, and shouldn't include single releases independent of the album. If singles really should be featured in an album infobox, why couldn't EPs and other releases be shoved in there too? Infobox album should be about albums and albums only. I've had multiple disagreements with many fellow editors over many subjects relating to singles; I'm to tired to start another one. If I go this entire review implementing all the recommended changes apart from this one, and the article doesn't pass, then so be it. Philip Terry Graham 23:39, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I find your position on this to be inconsistent. The singles are mentioned in the Lead and main text. An infobox summarises its article, this one is to be used for album articles according to the best practices of numerous editors. An average reader, unaware of your particular view, will expect to see any singles in the infobox. With them missing, they may believe there were none. Some people may not read the main text to find what they're looking for. Hence you're reducing the functionality of this infobox by withholding that information from those readers.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:51, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Drive by comment in response to "why couldn't EPs and other releases be shoved in there too?" Well, honestly, I thought EPs were okay if they represented a track on an album (like P!ATD's "Nicotine" or Nirvana's "Blew".) Or if every single from the album was promotional (see Siren Song of the Counter Culture) dannymusiceditor Speak up! 21:46, 30 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
  • There's too much detail in this section; this is particularly true for ¶2.
  • Reconcile content with infobox: produced by ?
 Done - reconciled with infobox. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete unnecessary spaces between adjacent ref tabs.
 Done - references removed entirely. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete start of sentence: Running at a length of 45 minutes long and comprising eleven tracks, the album
 Done - sentence removed, merged with the following sentence, so that it isn't too short. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • [[Liberation Records]] > [[Liberation Music]]
 Done - wiki link fixed. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reword final sentence of first ¶: it implies the album was co-written without any band member input. Since Sillitto left in late 2013 and they started recording in February of that year: does he contribute any material? More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:45, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - reworded as follows, "...is the first to be co-written by the band with outside personnel."
  • As indicated ¶2 should be reduced, my suggestions include:
  • experimental second studio album, ''[[The Temper Trap (album)|The Temper Trap]]'', > experimental, [[The Temper Trap (album)|self-titled]] second studio album,
 Done - suggestion adopted Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • of their debut album, ''[[Conditions (album)|Conditions]]'', > of their [[Conditions (album)|debut album]]. Note: end sentence here A the rest can be left in main text.
 Partly done - adopted change, but kept end of sentence dealing with lyrics. It'd be silly to go the entire lead of an article about an album and not have at least a few words saying what the album is about. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Finish next sentence with: at [[Byron Bay, New South Wales|Byron Bay]]. Rest of sentence can be left in main text, but get rid of "Grammy award-winning": unnecessary puffery for an individual only tangentially involved in this album's development.
 Done - removed rest of sentence as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The band also notably changed > The band changed
 Done - changed wording as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • AUS spelling/format: song writing
 Done - changed formatting. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • trim moving from development of ideas from jam sessions, to a more streamlined process of forming songs from various ideas by members of the band. > e.g. from development of ideas utilising jam sessions, to a streamlined process using various ideas by band members.
 Done - changed wording as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • the album spent a lengthy time in development over the course of three years, > the development spanned three years,
 Done - changed wording as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • End the sentence with late 2014 and early 2015.
 Done - closed the sentence. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Explain with finishing touches recorded at This appears to be immediately contradicted in the following sentence with recording on the album was eventually completed in October 2015. Note: end that sentence there.
 Done - fixed sentence and merged with following sentence to better imply that the "finishing touches" were a false end. Also removed the end of the sentence as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Consider the whole of the sentence starting with "Initially, finishing touches..." If finishing touches were applied in April they why is recording only completed eight months later and the album not released until 14 months from that April? By logic they can't have been "finishing touches". Also, why repeat "in April 2015" in that sentence: it makes for difficult reading. This needs tightening up.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:51, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • More trimming is required in this ¶. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:58, 18 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Trim start of sentence With its release formally announced in April 2016,
Question? Need clarification - how exactly can this eight-word phrase be substantially trimmed to anything less than seven or six words, may I ask? Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The release date was announced in April, shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:51, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Delete unnecessary in support of the album's release, from mid-sentence.
 Done - removed as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The claim of "largely positive reviews" is not reliably verified in the Reception section below. More on this point later; unless its fixed by then.
 Done - fixed to a more accurate "lukewarm positive reviews". Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • De-link Critics, singles as common terms in music articles.
 Done - removed wiki links as asked. Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Clarify a volume of praise
Question? Need clarification - not sure that it needs clarifying; the sentence says that Madangi's voice received a lot of good reception, which is true. Unless I'm somehow misinterpreting the sentence? Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
What does the phrase "a volume of praise being directed at lead singer Dougy Mandagi's vocals," mean? Maybe something like with lead singer, Dougy Mandagi's vocals being praised,shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:51, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • I expected to see some information on the album's AUS charting. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:12, 19 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - added new sentence to address this problem, as follows: "In addition, Thick as Thieves topped the ARIA Albums Chart in the week of its release – the band's second album to do so." Philip Terry Graham 00:13, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Background
  • More ¶ work required in this section. Trim back for concision and relevance to this album.
  • Focus of this article's section should be on Thick as Thieves: is it even mentioned in this section?
  • Why is there a photo of them on the Mylo Xyloto tour? This occurred before the current album was even proposed. Its relevance to this album is tenuous.
  • Discussion of the group's first two albums' relative chart and critical receptions is important but this should be reduced and placed in ¶2.
  • A significant line-up changed occurred after album 2, as Background for this album it should be mentioned in ¶1.
  • released their eponymous second studio album, ''[[The Temper Trap (album)|The Temper Trap]]'', > released their [[The Temper Trap (album)|eponymous second]] studio album,
  • and described as an album by whom?
  • Modify contentious claim of "internationally successful hits"; reconsider "Fader"'s chart performances.
  • How is "achieved greater commercial success" being measured? Are you basing this solely on Australian chart peaks? Both albums are platinum in Australia but Conditions is gold in the UK while The Temper Trap is not. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:01, 19 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • no.1 > no. 1 Note: use a forced space between no. and 1. Do similar for other instances.
  • the [[Australian Recording Industry Association]] [[ARIA Charts|album chart]] > the [[ARIA Charts|ARIA Albums Chart]]
  • Verify charting information by a reliable source. Adams ref can be used for auxiliary support but not as primary ref for charting. You need an ARIA ref, Hung Medien ref or equally reliable.
  • De-link common term: lead single, music critics
  • "overall sales of the album failed to match": A second Adams ref is used here, this is not reliable enough to verify albums/singles sales. Better refs are needed. Also specify whether you're talking about Australian sales (implied when using ARIA charting and certification) or total global sales. If you're talking AUS sales then both 1st and 2nd albums were accredited as Platinum for shipment of 70000+ copies: the claimed difference in sales is not substantiated.
  • In quote box fix it’s > it's Twice.
  • Quantify short-lived success
  • was not received well The breadth of this claim is not sustained, you're implying an overview of critical opinion based on too small a sample space. Metacritic averages are skewed when few critical reviews are used. The 1st album has 7 reviews, with an average score of 71. The 2nd album has 14 reviews, average is 56. Meanwhile 3rd album has 5 reviews here for an average of 61. Both 1st and 3rd albums averages at Metacritic have too few reviews for useful comparisons with the 2nd album.
  • Start a new ¶ with For Thick as Thieves, the band felt Note: consider whether you should start this whole section with this ¶: it gives the casual reader a better focus on this album.
  • Is there a contradiction between "compelled to return to their traditional roots, after reviewing the response" in one sentence and then "move was not an acceptance of critics' opinions on" in the next?
  • described the song > described that song
  • Remove their third studio album, from Aherne's sentence.
  • Fix apostrophe form in we’ve Fix the same style apostrophe in other direct quotes. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:32, 19 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Composition and themes
  • Again, trim down/split these huge ¶¶.
  • Curiously all three refs for lead-in sentence are written before the album's release (two of them are about a year-and-a-half old). Were Greer's/the band's intentions sustained in the final version?
  • lengthy production > lengthy development
  • Lead vocalist Dougy Mandagi additionally > Madagi additionally
  • Start new ¶ with Thick as Thieves is the first time
  • Check: "co-wrote most of the songs with the band," A better ref is need for song writing credits. Later an ASCAP ref is used, but only four of 11 tracks are covered, this is not most of the album's songs. Likewise the claim that "'Burn' and 'Tombstone' are the only songs on the record that were solely written by the band" needs a better ref. B Allen's song writing contributions should be acknowledged. Also Malay's work(s) at song writing should be here. Some of the information from Recording and production subsection should be up here. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:31, 19 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reword end of caption to avoid over "visit": nearby village they visited.
  • At first mention, Parker's roles should be described. Also fix who co-wrote "Fall Together" with Mandagi: this omits attribution to Richard Cooper (by the way, who is he?)
  • Fix penned by the band with Gabriel, to reflect sources. Not all the band co-wrote those tracks with Gabriel.
  • Avoid overuse of: track, the album, the band
  • at down with guitarist Joseph Greer and > at down with Greer and
  • by bassist Jonathon Aherne and > by Aherne and
  • Aus Engl: organization > organisation, favorites
  • Clarify with whom the band were involved with the charity or the tribe? (Also remove one of the "with"s)
  • Reword The band had written the song: this is not supported by reliable sources: not all band members wrote this song; also a non-band member song writer was used here. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:58, 21 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reword "Burn", penned by the band with Parker Not supported.
  • MoS reminiscent of "Be My Baby" by The Ronettes. > reminiscent of 'Be My Baby' by the Ronettes. Song titles inside a direct quote use 'single quotes'; band names starting with The, such as the Beatles, go to lower case unless its the start of a sentence.
  • Where's the ref(s) for the direct quotes at end of sentence starting: Mandagi touts "Alive",
  • Reword/Trim info about Chan/Sukumaran: there's too much here of little direct relevance to the track, "Closer". More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:51, 22 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Recording and production
  • More ¶ splitting/triming needed.
  • As indicated above, some of information from here belongs to the previous section.
  • Since none of Malay's production work was used in the final release his main input has been as a song writer and an inspiration.
  • Trim Lead vocalist Dougy Mandagi, drummer Toby Dundas
  • Clarify use of "home", here: were at home in London,
  • Is this redundant? The band spent a few weeks, over the course of two visits, at La Casa with Malay. Or is this a separate block from the February-March 2013 stint?
  • Fix amassed over over thirty, Dunas explained
  • Reduce use of: tour, support.
  • Concision: Over the course of the year > During 2013
  • Delete , ''[[The Temper Trap (album)|The Temper Trap]]'', Its been previously linked and named.
  • Concision: The album was on-pace for a slated early 2014 release, > Thick as Thieves was slated for release in early 2014
  • Now we finally get to Sillito leaving. However, this should be mentioned in Background section as it is important to the direction that the group were going in while developing their third album. From what I can tell, while they may have recorded/written new material with Sillito none was used in the final product.
  • Clarify: production was jolted > the recording schedule was jolted or song development was jolted or similar.
  • Delete editorial commentary , his departure was not of ill-faith, as unnecessary.
  • Concision: A statement by the band, released later that same day, read > A band statementshaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:55, 28 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The direct quote following requires a citation.
  • The further statement in the next sentence is redundant, excise it.
  • Sillito's later career ("After departing...") belongs in the group's bio but it is not directly relevant to this album, delete same.
  • Concision: guitarist Joseph Greer was originally made the permanent fifth member of the band as its keyboardist and secondary guitarist to Sillitto's lead, after the release of Conditions. > Greer had become the fifth permanent member, after Conditions, as their keyboardist and second guitarist.
  • Concision: The workload heavily shifted towards Greer, once he became the band's lead guitarist, though Greer had stated that he had > Greer stepped up as the group's lead guitarist, he
  • Delete: despite becoming the lead guitarist Redundancy.
  • Concision: the band moved recording and production over > they relocated
  • Reword: An initial version of the album with > A prototype with
  • Trim: were written and recorded for the album. > were written and recorded.
  • Delink/trim: collaborated with European producer [[Pascal Gabriel]] > collaborated with Gabriel; tracks, British songwriter and producer [[Justin Parker]], > tracks; Parker,
  • Note that Parker and Allen are not given as song writers in Track listing below. They're not mentioned in the Lead as co-producers.
  • Reword: Ultimately, in October 2015, 32 months after the band started production, > In October 2015 after 32 months of development,
  • Trim: Mandagi expressed dissatisfaction with the album's lengthy recording process, though insisted that he and the band were, in contrast, satisfied with the outcome and the final product, stating, "sometimes it was ok, sometimes it was a bit trying but you know nothing good comes easy we just had to keep at it. We didn't put it out until it was right, 'til we felt right." > Mandagi addressed the length of their recording process "sometimes it was ok, sometimes it was a bit trying but you know nothing good comes easy we just had to keep at it. We didn't put it out until it was right, 'til we felt right." More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:29, 22 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Packaging
  • Only a single ¶. It should be integrated into another section: probably the next one? Especially since it mostly deals with the religious beliefs of two members rather than the actual packaging of the album.
  • Reword: The album's title, ''[[wiktionary:thick as thieves|Thick as Thieves]]'', a phrase typically used to describe > The phrase, "[[wiktionary:thick as thieves|thick as thieves]]", used for the album's title, describes
  • Dougy Mandagi, Jonathon Aherne's
Promotion
  • Trim ¶¶.
  • Shortly before the album > Four months before the album
  • completed and unveiled > issued
  • Reduce use of: album, premiere, video, tour
  • The track also subsequently appeared on a [[single (music)|single]] released the next day. > It was released as a single on the next day. Note: de-linked "single" as a common term in music.
  • What is the significance of the unveiling in April when its not actually released until June?
  • De-link common terms: pre-order, compact disc, digital download
  • At second, and subsequent, use of United States replace with US
  • Remove puffery: acclaimed music video producer [[Kris Moyes]] > {{xt|[[Kris Moyes]] ([[The Presets]], [[Boy & Bear]], [[Mas Ysa]])
  • De-link: Greece (available at previous term).
  • Change to past tense: will support the release Update other information in ¶3.
  • Trim The tour will also be accompanied by [[alternative rock]] band Coast Modern, whom will serve as opening act. > US [[alternative rock]] duo, [[Coast Modern]], will be their opening act. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:00, 23 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Reception
  • Besides critical reviews, this section should also detail the public reception, i.e. charting, accreditations and awards. (Unless separate prose sections exist for these)
  • More ¶ work needed especially ¶2.
  • Album ratings summary table should include Aggregate scores, e.g. from Metacritic (with a caveat that it based on few reviews), where available.
  • Reduce overworked terms: album, band, reviews.
  • ¶1 has no refs!
  • Specifically the claim of "mostly positive reviews" needs substantiation by reliable source(s).
  • De-link previously linked or common terms: Conditions, lyricism
  • Remove first names from previously introduced people.
  • Delete start of ¶2: The album's most positive review to date came from Then modify remaining fragment and merge into next sentence.
  • Place a ref tab after each sentence containing a direct quote.
  • Trim content and the interpretations of Adams and LeFevre reviews. Move Collar's review to a new ¶.
  • Clarify More critical reviews do you mean Additional critical reviews or Less positive critiques
  • Pipe ''[[Rolling Stone]]'' to ''[[Rolling Stone Australia|Rolling Stone]]'' So that it goes to the relevant article. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:57, 23 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Track listing
  • All tracks' writers should be shown, either in a summary form or per track. Currently only four tracks have writers.
    • This has been updated since I made this comment but some tracks are still incomplete: no song writers for the deluxe versions.04:05, 24 August 2016 (UTC)~
  • Whilst ASCAP is generally a reliable source, the Australian authority, Australasian Performing Right Association (APRA), takes precedence for local artists wherever any difference exists between the two. e.g. "Thick as Thieves" is only attributed to Greer, Mandagi and Gabriel by APRA.
  • Hence check all of the tracks' writers with an APRA source.
    • The liner notes appear to disagree with the online APRA source, which I looked at. Adjust attributions for writers to the APRA version.04:05, 24 August 2016 (UTC)
  • MoS: Science Of Fear > Science of Fear In Japanese version.
  • Japanese version also needs track times. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:09, 23 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Personnel
  • Did Gabriel produce any tracks?
  • After each name add a non-breakable space followed immediately by an endash (not hyphen).
  • Change [[Keyboard instrument|keys]] > [[Keyboard instrument|keyboards]] Change similar. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:32, 23 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Charts
  • Seems OK.
Release history
  • Where's Infectious Records? It's mentioned in the Lead and infobox.
  • Track listing shows a Japanese version, where's its release details?
References
  • Adjust the Note a. to include an actual reference tab rather than this link.
  • Fix spelling of Citations (twice).

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:05, 24 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 2[edit]

It is factually accurate and verifiable.

a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
References

I will be checking all the references and each comment below is under their number as they existed at this time. The order in the article may change from this numbering as refs get moved, added or deleted. Newspapers, journals and other works are generally italicised but publishers are not. Use dmy dates for date, archive date and retrieved date. Every effort should be made to identify author(s). Any bare urls or dead urls should be fixed immediately.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:34, 24 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  1. Not well formed, use an appropriate citation template to help format this ref better.
  2. See [1]
  3. Discogs is user-generated and not reliable. Use MusicBrainz or other more reliable source.
  4. Fix | title = The Temper Trap – ''The Temper Trap''. Content verified.
  5. Fix title (per previous). "Fader" not mentioned, claim of internationally successful hits not verified.
  6. Fix title (see [4] for similar). "Fader" not mentioned, claim of internationally successful hits not verified.
  7. Ref is well formatted but this is not usable for chart verification on its own. Use an ARIA-based ref for Aus charting e.g. Hung Medien/Australian Charts Portal (see ref [79]) or ARIA Report at PANDORA.
  8. Adj ref, at title change hyphens to en dashes; change website to publisher. Note: phrase Within a year is not supported, perhaps By the end of the following year is better.
  9. Adj ref per previous. Content supported.
  10. Adj | last1 = Adams At a: Not usable for sales information on its own, use an ARIA-based ref for shipment/sales in Australia. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:34, 24 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  11. Seems OK. Content verified.
  12. Adj title per [4]. was not well received Not supported: choose a better summary description.
  13. Adj title per [4]. Content verified.
  14. Add details on | time = per instance from a to d. While at d, reorder tabs numerically.
  15. Format seems OK. Content not verified at b: Aherne is mentioned but not cited, no one says "under pressure".
  16. Check year of Brandle's article; otherwise format is OK. Content partially verified, at b there's no indication that band members were at home in London although they were working there.
  17. Seems OK. "less synth..." not seen. Other content verified.
  18. Change | author1 = [[Associated Press|Australian Associated Press]] > | agency = [[Australian Associated Press]] (AAP) Content, including direct quote, verified.
  19. MoS article title including italics for album's title; otherwise format OK. Content verified.
  20. I don't think the {{sic}} is needed; otherwise format is OK. Content verified. More follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:59, 24 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  21. De-link previously linked material, specifically: remove links from website and publisher. Some content is not verified: attributions for Allen and Gabriel are not seen here.
  22. Fix | last1 = Taylor Bennett | first1 = Kim | title = Premiere: Here's the Temper Trap's Latest Anthem 'Burn' Content verified.
  23. Seems OK. Some content not verified here. Remember to adj tab order.
  24. Seems OK. Content verified.
  25. Fix | title = The Temper Trap return – hear 'Fall Together' from new album ''Thick as Thieves'' Some content not verified: nothing on Gabriel co-writing most songs; YouTube not mentioned.
  26. Seems OK. Content at a supported but an APRA-based ref is needed for song writing verification. Other content verified. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:56, 25 August 2016 (UTC)03:57, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  27. Fix |title=Hear the Temper Trap's First New Song in Years Content verified.
  28. Fix | title = Listen to the Temper Trap's First New Music in 4 Years 'Thick As Thieves' | date = 29 February 2016 De-link previously linked. Content verified.
  29. Fix | title = The Temper Trap Come 'Alive' with Their 'Sexiest Number' so far Content verified.
  30. Seems OK. Some content verified. Query: are all three of these refs needed to cover the content, could one or two be deleted?
  31. Seems OK. Content verified.
  32. Seems OK. Some content verified. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:50, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  33. Fix title: with, for. Content not fully verified. They worked with Malay on song writing (Malay also happens to be a producer) but the sentence here implies that he is actually recording/producing material with the group's members. The situation needs to be clarified in the text.
  34. Fix title, otherwise seems OK. Newstead claims that Malay did record material with the group: was this material ever used?
  35. Seems OK. Content verified. Supports claim that Malay and the group had started to record/produce material together.
  36. De-link previous. Content verified.
  37. Can't see author at article. For title change hyphen to en dash. Lollapalooza verified.
  38. Seems OK. Wanderland verified.
  39. Seems OK. Content verified.
  40. Seems OK. Content verified. Previous sentence's direct quote is verifiable by this ref tab. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:19, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  41. Fix bracket on BBC, otherwise OK. Content verified.
  42. Seems OK. Content verified. Only this or following ref is needed, not both.
  43. Align ref formats for NME sources: see [24]. Only 1st is wikilinked. Content verified.
  44. In title, use Thick as Thieves, in publisher de-link previously linked term, otherwise seems OK. Content verified. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:06, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  45. In title, use 'Five Years'. Much of the content is not verified by this source, another is needed to verify most of that sentence.
  46. Seems OK. Content verified.
  47. Seems OK. Mandagi not mentioned. Unnecessary ref with previous one doing the job better.
  48. See [24], [42]. London & US verified.
  49. Align format with [41], only 1st wL. London, US & Canada verified.
  50. Remove wL. Australia verified. Between the three given sources a "tour of Europe" is not verified – how are three shows in London, a European tour?
  51. See [24], [42], [48]. Only 1st wL. Content verified.
  52. Seems OK. Content verified via Official FB. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:59, 25 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  53. Fix | title = 'Thick as Thieves' – Single by the Temper Trap Otherwise OK. Content verified.
  54. Fix per [18], de-link agency. Redirected to generic Yahoo page, add Example text. Modify accessdate. Some content not supported: record labels not mentioned.
  55. Seems OK. Content verified.
  56. Fix title: italics on album, as not As, en dash not hyphen. Otherwise OK. Content verified.
  57. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified but require songs' writers per APRA-based ref.
  58. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified.
  59. Fix title (hyphen > en dash). Content verified.
  60. Fix title (hyphen > en dash), fix archivedate (its before the article was written!). Content verified. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:17, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  61. Fix title (With > with), otherwise OK. "Lost" material not mentioned, here.
  62. Fix title (The > the) 3×. Only We the Fest verified.
  63. See [24] et al. The Field verified.
  64. Fix title (The > the)
  65. Fix per [18], de-link previous. Redirected to generic Yahoo page: find an archive copy or alternate source.
  66. De-link previous. Content verified.
  67. Fix title (In > in). Content verified.
  68. Seems OK. Content verified.
  69. Add link to page 2 for proposed tour dates and support slots. Otherwise seems OK. Content verified. Note: three tour slots have another support group, Walking Shapes.
  70. Seems OK. Content verified. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 23:31, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  71. Fix title: italics on album, the not The, en dash not hyphen. Content verified. Note: tab to be used for non-cited direct quote in a sentence between last two uses.
  72. Fix title: italics on album, as not As; remove FasterLouder from title (its correctly at work/website). Content not supported at c: you've misrepresented LeFevre's use of "cringe worthy". Re-read the whole ¶ from "These songs need a backbone" to "it's entirely comfortable."
  73. Fix title (hyphen, italics, As). Fix work and publisher: this is the Australian Rolling Stone not the original US version. Content verified. Use this ref tab at end of sentences with any direct quote from this source.
  74. Add to title: : The Temper Trap – Thick as Thieves De-link previous. Content verified. Use this ref tab at end of sentences with any direct quote from this source.
  75. Fix title. Some content not verified: song writers not seen.
  76. Fix title. Add | id = LMCD0291 How is this ref different from [78]? This source is not usable for song writers as it contradicts APRA-based sources, e.g. "Thick as Thieves" is written by Greer J/Mandagi A/Gabriel P (and no others); "So Much Sky" by Aherne J/Mandagi A/Allen B (no others). Check all the tracks (including any on deluxe versions) again at an APRA source. Credits in Personnel section per musicians, production and artwork need to be reconciled with information in infobox, Lead and other sections.
  77. Fix title. Need more content: track times, track writers.
  78. How is this different from [76]. Credits taken on good faith, see previous comments at [76].
  79. Fix format of Hung Medien-based refs, e.g. <ref name="AusCharts">{{cite web | url = http://www.australian-charts.com/showitem.asp?interpret=The+Temper+Trap&titel=Thick+as+Thieves&cat=a | title = The Temper Trap – ''Thick as Thieves'' | publisher = Australian Charts Portal. Hung Medien (Steffen Hung) | last = Hung | first = Steffen | accessdate = 27 August 2016 }}</ref> Content verified. Note: the album premiered at number one but this is not mentioned in the Lead!
  80. Adj per [79]. Content verified.
  81. Adj per [79]. Content verified.
  82. Adj per [79]. Content verified.
  83. Adj per [79]. Content verified.
  84. Seems OK. Content verified.
  85. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified.
  86. Fix title. De-link previous. 10" not mentioned. Described as: white vinyl LP. Need another ref for size.
  87. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified.
  88. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified.
  89. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified.
  90. Fix title. De-link previous. Content verified. More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 08:24, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 3[edit]

It is broad in its coverage.

a (major aspects): b (focused):
  • Content is covered and referenced in a table but the significance of a number-one album is not mentioned in the Lead nor in Reception where I would expect to see it discussed.
  • Focus of the article is diffused in parts, this is mentioned above. If suggested changes are made then this criterion should also be met.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 08:43, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 4[edit]

It follows the neutral point of view policy.

Fair representation without bias:

Criterion 5[edit]

It is stable.

No edit wars, etc.:


Criterion 6[edit]

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  • Infobox image has an NFUR, which does not acknowledge cover artist or artwork designer as possible author/copyright owner(s).
  • Mylo Xyloto Tour photo's relevance to this article is not sufficiently demonstrated.
  • Mt K photo is OK.
  • Sillitto photo is OK. It could be positioned higher if content on the guitarist is moved to Background.
  • Greer photo is OK.
  • Great Escape photo is OK. Caption requires a ref for group's appearance at that festival.
  • Milos photo is OK.

Overall[edit]

Overall:

Pass/Fail:

@PhilipTerryGraham: You have seven days to address any outstanding issues raised in this review. Have fun.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:34, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Unfortunately @PhilipTerryGraham: appears to have trouble editing at wikipedia, according to this notice. This review is a fail, without prejudice, and a resumption should be allowed when the nominator is able to respond effectively.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 03:26, 9 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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