Talk:Third Battle of Winchester/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 15:18, 27 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]


I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:18, 27 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • No DABs, external links OK
  • Do not use fixed sizes for images. Replace 250px or whatever with upright=1.0 and adjust up or down as necessary so that the images do not dominate the page. Also no periods in captions unless using two or more full sentences. I've done one for you already.
    • All images at upright=1.5 except portraits at upright=0.5, dropped periods TwoScars (talk) 21:33, 16 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Images appropriately licensed.
  • Have there been any efforts to preserve the battlefield before I dive into the battle proper?
    • The American Battlefield Trust says that it has saved more than 473 acres of the battlefield. TwoScars (talk) 20:47, 16 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Sturmvogel 66: Perhaps I misunderstood you. Did you think there should be something on battlefield preservation in the article? I can add a little at the end of the article. Right now, two of the external links are for visiting the battlefield and its current preservation. TwoScars (talk) 14:26, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link ranks on first use and provide an abbreviation to be used in the rest of the article. Suggest using standard US Army abbreviations as I don't think that I've seen Br. Gen. used anywhere else.
    • Fixed in captions to LTG, MG, and BG TwoScars (talk) 21:33, 16 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • Major general through Captain are now all Wikilinked on first use. Confederate generals, including lieutenant general, are linked on first use to Confederate version. TwoScars (talk) 16:57, 17 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Use full name and rank only on first use, afterwards just use last name
    • Checking 75 names, completed Atkinson through Early, so far. Left Early's rank and full name in for a second time in the first line under the Confederate army commanded by Jubal Early sub-section of the Opposing forces section. The line reads "The Confederate force was the Army of the Valley, which was created in June 1864 and commanded by Lieutenant General Jubal Early." Can drop the "Lieutenant General Jubal" if necessary—but I believe it is more appropriate, in the Opposing forces section, to use ranks and full names. TwoScars (talk) 19:36, 17 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • Completed other names. Like Early, I left Major General Philip Sheridan in the Opposing forces section. Can change if necessary. TwoScars (talk) 21:24, 17 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
      • I don't, but I'm not going to fuss about it.
  • Link unit sizes on first use.
    • Corps, Brigade, Battalion, Regiment TwoScars (talk) 21:41, 17 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
      • Don't forget battery.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:49, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
        • Unlinked first "battery" and linked first "batteries", which appeared before "battery". TwoScars (talk) 19:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sheridan kept his army between Early's army Close proximity alert for "army", suggest using "troops" or other synonym for one of these
  • Link picket,
  • along rail line of the out-of-service awkward
  • Eventually, Lee was also present, what does this mean?
    • Reworded: Once Ramseur and McIntosh began fighting, Fitzhugh Lee sent his cavalry division, commanded by Brigadier General Williams Carter Wickham, to the north side of Red Bud Run where they faced south. He also sent Major James Breathed's Battalion of horse artillery, which protected the ground in front of the divisions of Major General John B. Gordon and Major General Robert E. Rodes. Lee supervised the artillery, and his men skirmished across the creek with Chapman's Brigade from Wilson's Division until the XIX Corps got into position. TwoScars (talk) 20:29, 17 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Down to 11:40 am. More later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:48, 16 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • The "11:40 am: " portion of the section heading was left in by accident—in my sandbox one time I had a lot more times in headings to make it easier for me to organize things. What do you think of removing that so the heading reads "Union infantry attacks from east"? TwoScars (talk) 21:40, 16 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • ravines diminished Wright's numerical advantage Awkward.
    • Reworded to: His force outnumbered the Confederate opposition of Ramseur's Infantry Division assisted by cavalry. However, the shape of the terrain, especially the ravines, made it difficult for Wright to utilize his numerical advantage. TwoScars (talk) 19:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • Reworded again: His force outnumbered the Confederate opposition, Ramseur's Infantry Division assisted by cavalry, by almost four to one. However, the uneven terrain, especially the ravines, made it difficult for Wright's men to see their enemy. TwoScars (talk) 20:40, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • delivering enfilading fire from the distant left (south). It advanced slowly. Merge this last sentence into the previous one. Maybe something like "The unit's advance was slowed by artillery fire from..."
    • Changed to: On the left, Getty's 2nd Division advanced slowly while it underwent artillery fire from two sides. A battery belonging to Lieutenant Colonel William Nelson's battalion was in front, while a section of Lomax's horse artillery delivered enfilading fire from the distant left (south). TwoScars (talk) 23:14, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link canister
  • I've tightened some of your prose. Feel feel to undo as you see fit.
  • Crook's orders were to protect the XIX Corps' right flank, but he decided he could flank Early's left. This confuses me because XIX Corps' right flank is the Confederate left (north).
    • I'll look into rewording it. [The map at Emory's XIX Corps attack, with the caption XIX Corps positions, might help in combination with the map at Crook joins the battle. Emory was done being the aggressor, and wanted protection from Gordon advancing on the south side of Red Bud Run and Lee's cavalry advancing from the north side of Red Bud Run. Crook's task was to simply protect Emory's right. Crook, with fresh forces, decided to be the aggressor with Duval's Division on the north side of Red Bud Run while Thoburn's Division advanced on the south side of Red Bud Run.] TwoScars (talk) 18:45, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
      • Maybe the issue is that Crook was initially assigned to simply defend the northern (right) flank, but decides on a more active role when Emory gets bogged down.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:55, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
        • Reworded: Crook's orders were to protect the XIX Corps' right flank, but he decided his fresh troops could be aggressive instead of simply holding in a defensive position. At the beginning of the battle, he hoped to move his army around Early's right to the south side of Winchester and cut off Early's route of retreat. That option was now gone, but he believed he could move around Early's left (Gordon, north side of Winchester) and relieve the pressure on the XIX Corps. TwoScars (talk) 15:29, 19 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Down to Cavalry attacks from the southeast.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:49, 18 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Confederate cavalries units
  • Who's Schoonfield?
  • Munford discovered Schoonfield and a lightly occupied Fort Jackson (a.k.a. Fort Milroy). Awkward.
    • Changed to "Munford discovered that Fort Jackson (a.k.a. Fort Milroy) was occupied by a small force."
  • Torbert used the U.S. Regular Artillery to kill His attached regular artillery?
    • Changed to "Torbert used a battery from the 3rd U.S. Artillery, commanded by Lieutenant William C. Cuyler, to kill 34 horses and mortally wound Captain Chapman." TwoScars (talk) 18:39, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Aside from his ability to inspire his troops, Sheridan's contribution was his handling and utilization of cavalry.[122] It was the Union cavalry that made the difference in the battle. Combine these two sentences--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:20, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • Changed to "Aside from his ability to inspire his troops, Sheridan's contribution was his handling and utilization of cavalry, which made the difference in the battle." TwoScars (talk) 18:39, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Sturmvogel 66: I believe I am caught up. I removed two of the external links about the battlefield since they have become sources in the Preservation section. TwoScars (talk) 14:08, 27 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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