Talk:Thomas H. Branch/GA1
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Reviewer: Indy beetle (talk · contribs) 05:19, 10 August 2021 (UTC)
I'll do this one. My initial comments:
- was an African American Seventh-day Adventist missionary. Subjects are generally identified by their nationality first thing in the lede and not their ethnic group. Thus in this first sentence he should be identified as simply "American".
- En-route he was detained for nine days by the British consul at Chinde, Portuguese Mozambique as he was concerned that a black missionary would cause insubordination among Africans in the colony. The second instance of "he" should be changed to "the consul" so as to avoid confusion.
- The SDA agreed to withdraw Booth and Branch after the colonial government raised concerns; Branch's replacement was a white man. Why is it worthy of mention in the lede what the skin color of his replacement was? Perhaps "Branch's replacement was more politically acceptable to the colonial administration."
- where he lived out his final years with his daughter Mabel. His daughter's name probably does not need mention in the lede.
- Any idea what his middle name was?
- Thomas H. Branch was born in December 24, 1856, in Jefferson County, Missouri; his parents were both slaves. Link Jefferson County, and also per WP:Global attach "United States" onto that geographic location. Not all of our readers are going to know where Jefferson County, Missouri is.
- Is it clear whether Branch himself was briefly a slave?
- Branch, who was considered old for a missionary posting, had been recommended for the mission by the church's Colorado Conference Considered old by who?
- The conference provided financial support to the mission, which was the church's first in the Protectorate. The "church" meaning the entire SDA?
- Upon arrival at Chinde Branch was detained for nine days by the British consul. Does "detained" mean he was formally arrested, or simply blocked from legally entering the protectorate?
- Branch picked up the local language and was well liked by his congregation What local language, Chewa? Also, I'd be hesitiant to include the claim that he was well-liked by his congregation if that claim is sourced to an SDA publication.
-Indy beetle (talk) 05:19, 10 August 2021 (UTC)
- Hi Indy beetle, thanks so much for reviewing this, much appreciated. I've tried to address your comments above - Dumelow (talk) 06:49, 10 August 2021 (UTC)
- Branch moved to Watts, California as a preacher before the SDA church reluctantly approved a pension for him Any reasons given for the SDA's reluctance?
Does the Williams source have page numbers or a chapter?
- Looks good, I will pass the article. -Indy beetle (talk) 20:56, 11 August 2021 (UTC)