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Talk:Thomas of Bosnia/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 15:17, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Will start soon. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 15:17, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

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GA Criteria

GA Criteria:

  • 1
    1.a checkY
    1.b checkY
  • 2
    2.a checkY
    2.b checkY
    2.c checkY
    2.d checkY (10.7% is highest, due only to name of a source being mentioned here and there.)
  • 3
    3.a checkY
    3.b checkY
  • 4
    4.a checkY
  • 5
    5.a checkY
  • 6
    6.a checkY
    6.b checkY
  • No DAB links checkY
  • No Dead links checkY
  • Images appropriately licensed checkY
  • Citations ☒N
    • References 12, 33, 41, 46, and 52 have a hyphen for a page range. They need to have "".
    • One of the sources is Ćošković 2005 in citations, but Ćošković 2009 in Bibliography, pick whichever is correct and standardize.

Prose Suggestions

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Lede

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  • An illegitimate son of King Ostoja, Thomas succeeded King Tvrtko II, but his accession was not recognized by the leading magnate of the Kingdom of Bosnia, Stjepan Vukčić Kosača. suggest linking magnate here.
  • and married the insubordinate nobleman's daughter Catherine. suggest and married the insubordinate nobleman's daughter, Catherine.
  • Thomas waged a war throughout his reign with the Serbian Despotate over the lucrative mining town of Srebrenica and its surroundings, in addition to (or in conjunction with) multiple conflicts with his father-in-law. suggest Throughout his reign, Thomas waged a war with the Serbian Despotate over the lucrative mining town of Srebrenica and its surroundings, in addition to (or in conjunction with) multiple conflicts with his father-in-law.
  • first ruler of Bosnia to engage in religious persecution. here, does this mean the Kingdom of Bosnia? I'd recommend you mention if so, because as read it suggests that no religious persecution had ever taken point up until then.
  • For the infobox, I suggest changing the religious part from
    Roman Catholic
    previously Bosnian Christian
  • to
    Bosnian Christian
    Roman Catholic (later)

Accession to coronation

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  • Thomas, however, hastened to send word of his accession to foreign rulers, including the German king Frederick IV and Ragusan and Venetian authorities, hoping for recognition. suggest Because of this, Thomas hastened to send word of his accession to foreign rulers, including the German king Frederick IV and Ragusan and Venetian authorities, hoping to recieve recognition.
  • when Thomas pleased the Holy See to be cleared of the "stain of illegitimacy" as well as for an annulment of his union with Vojača. suggest when Thomas improved relations the Holy See in order to be cleared of the "stain of illegitimacy" as well as to receive an annulment of his union with Vojača.
  • @Surtsicna: That is all my comments, I will pass the review once the issues with the citations are dealt with. Iazyges Consermonor Opus meum 17:41, 21 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]