Talk:Through Being Cool/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 09:47, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Info box

Artwork needs an alt= caption
Use a {{hlist|}} for the genres so it makes them have a bullet point to separate them instead of a comma
Why do these genres have citations? They should be sourced in the article, not here
Remove 'at', the city and state from the recorded parameter

Lead

(stylized as "Through Being Cool") → Is quotations really a stylisation?
Moving from a → Not very encyclopaedic
at Trax East, → Presumably this is a studio
were "intense". → Quotations in the lead need a citation
to tour alongside Snapcase, New Found Glory, Hot Water Music and Face to Face, → What are thesE?
music video was made → was filmed
", which the band later regretted. It was directed by Darren Doan. → This doesn't really flow
signed to Vagrant. → Which is what?
front-to-back on tour → What is a front to back tour?
repressed → I think you mean re-pressed. Repressed means to hold something back inside you, like repressed anger.
considers it "the most important record that we did". → Needs a citation; also, just lumping this fact here makes it read boring

Background

Link Saves the Day
Saves the Day formed in late 1997, their debut album, Can't Slow Down, was released with Equal Vision in August 1998. → Poor structure of clauses
played, drummer → Needs to be connected better than with a comma as the complete sentences reads jilted
touring Can't Slow Down, → You don't tour an album
members left. → Remove left; previous phrasing is indicative of this
and hung around → Too informal

Composition

All the lyrics → All of the lyrics
All the music → All of the music (complete sentence)
The band would stay over at → Where?
a handful of → Use a different word
This is where the genres should be listed and cited, and not cited in the info box

Recording

I feel like this should go after Background, because you talk about the composition and then the recording. It's not chronological
11 days – nine full days and two half-days. → This isn't very clear. It was either 11 or 11 and a half.
You've linked engineering and mastering but not mixing?

Artwork

Photography was done → This doesn't sound right.

Release and touring

Sometime during February, → In February
After all this touring, → This sounds fan-written

Track listing

Why haven't you use a proper track listing table like all other GAN albums do? It's pretty standard.

References

I don't think refs 2 and 3 are reliable.

Outcome

I don't think this article is a Good Article standard. The whole article has a bit of a fan-written feel to it, and the language is quite often not very good. It's not a very cohesive article and I think there are issues with the structure of it. If by doing what I've suggested above, I still don't think it is good enough to pass. It lacks flow. I'm failing this article I'm afraid. — Calvin999 15:06, 24 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]