Talk:Tropical Storm Thelma/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Tropical Storm Thelma (also known as Tropical Storm Uring in the Philippines) was the deadliest tropical cyclone in Philippine history, killing at least 5,081 people." link to History of the Philippines. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Linked Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"(hPa; 29.29 inHg. " someone forgot their parenthesis. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Outside of Ormoc City, a further 159 people were killed across Leyte and Negros Occidental. " no need for "futher" since you mention it is outside of the city IMO. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Total losses amounted to $27.67 million." year? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Added a note Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"A total of $5.8 million worth of grants and materials was provided collectively in the international relief effort" was to wore here, right? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC).[3] " don't include the "(JTWC)" in part of the link. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Early on November 1, the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) began monitoring the system " see above. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"On November 4, both the JTWC and JMA upgraded the system to a tropical storm, with the latter assigning it the name Thelma.[3][4]" link to tropical cyclone naming. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The hardest hit region was Leyte where more than 4,000 people lost their lives." comma before "where". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"A total of 598,454 people were affected by the storm across the Philippines.[11] An estimated 43,000 people were left homeless.[12]" mind combing these sentences. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"covering an area of 4,567 hectares," convert the unit to acres as well. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" is only 3.3 percent forested" it still is today? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- No information on that is provided. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Altogether, the rains were twice as heavy as the land could handle and the many landslips doubled the volume of fluids.[16]" no need for "the" after "and". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Removed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Roughly 2,500 people lived on this reclaimed land prior to the flood. The majority of fatalities took place along the banks of the river, with most drowning or being buried in mud or debris." I'd combine this to sentences with something like ";consequentially". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- That would create a misleading statement which would imply that the majority (though somehow less than half) took place along that reclaimed land. Opting not to do this. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Where does Thelma fall in the deadlist typhoons. There should at least be a template of that.
- Our template isn't up-to-snuff. From what I can tell, it's not in the top ten. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
In the aftermath, cut back on the uses of "by [insert date]". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Not sure how to go about this. Most things are date-specific. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
", and the governments of Canada, New Zealand." to ", as well as the governments of Canada and New Zealand". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

In all, it is pretty good. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:51, 1 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Pardon the late response. I kept getting distracted from fixing this up. Thanks for the review YE Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:02, 8 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]