Talk:Typhoon Vera (1986)

Typhoon Vera (1986) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: August 6, 2017. (Reviewed version).

A fact from Typhoon Vera (1986) appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 2 June 2017 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that the Joint Typhoon Warning Center accurately predicted that Typhoon Vera would strike Okinawa 66 hours in advance?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2017/June. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Typhoon Vera (1986).

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GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Vera (1986)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 01:43, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"A tropical depression on August 15" - Missing "formed" but remove the comma after you add that.
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Vera meandered in the monsoon trough, but on August 17, the system abruptly re-located east-northeast, and subsequently began to move east and then north." - This is a choppy sentence, see if you can't reword.
- Re-worded somewhat. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Typhoon Vera then turned west-northwest, and slowly weakened as it approached Okinawa." - Nay comma.
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
You start almost every sentence with the storm's name. Alternate it a bit.
- Changed a couple. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The typhoon brought minor damage to Okinawa" - Like, physically carried damage? Otherwise, replace that with wrought, caused, inflicted, etc.
- Did "was responsible for". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Although the core remained offshore China, over 500 homes were destroyed, seven lives were lost, and 28 people were hurt in Shanghai." - Guidelines suggest spelling out numbers under 10, but if the sentence is accompanied by a large number like 500, write them all numerically.
- Right. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"25 individuals were feared dead after the New Genshine went missing." - What is that? A plane, a vessel, a horse? I always specify.
- Added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"At 00:00 UTC on August 13, the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) started to follow the system" - Started to follow --> began monitoring
- See Kelly's GAN. I did the same thing here. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:08, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Notes go before references
- Yes... Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Six hours later, the JMA upgraded the system into a tropical storm." - ...and assigned it a name.
- JMA doesn't name storms pre-2000. Hence why they have an English
"Early on August 20, both the JTWC and the JMA classified Vera as a typhoon," - Comma =/= period
- Gah, just blind. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"On August 22, the JTWC estimated that Vera attained its peak intensity of 200 km/h (125 mph)[8] while the JMA estimated a peak of 170 km/h (105 mph)" * Probably important to mention this is 1-minute vs. 10-minute.
- Read the notes :P Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Around this time, the typhoon passed about 540 km (335 mi) southwest of Iwo Jima.[9]" - Is this necessary?
- For sure. It's important to provide some context of where the storm was. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Meanwhile, Vera began to lose tropical characteristics and instead initiated a transition into an extratropical cyclone." - Axe "instead." Also, extratropical transition is not something a storm can "initiate," it caused by outside factors.
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"...two walls beside a road collapsed." - Huh?
- There were too walls that collapsed, both near a road. Should I cut the road bit? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Due to the impeding threat of Vera to Shanghai, more than 3,000 ships were piloted into port and 120 pumping stations were readied to avert potential flooding while 20,000 cruise passengers were evacuated to shelter." - Split this.
- Sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 04:06, 6 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]