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Talk:Viktoria Orsi Toth

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GA Review

[edit]
This review is transcluded from Talk:Viktoria Orsi Toth/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:32, 8 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Going to review this one. MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 8 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Early and personal life

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  • "Orsi Toth played various sports including swimming," - add a wikilink for swimming to Swimming (sport)
  • "However, she hated running" - how about detested?
  • "She picked up indoor volleyball" - took up
  • "Orsi Toth credits Sirressi with making her fall in love with indoor volleyball," - become attracted to

Club

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  • "She moved up from the youth leagues" - advanced

2011–2012: World Tour debut

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  • "Orsi Toth concluded her first season on the World Tour ranked No. 89" - use the abbr template on No. to say that it means number
  • Wikilink forfeit to Forfeit (sports)

2013: Partnering with Menegatti

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  • "Her breakthrough came mid-2013," - midway through 2013
  • "when national team coach Carvalho decided to split Cicolari and Menegatti" - when the national team coach decided to separate
  • "and paired Menegatti up with Orsi Toth instead." - just having paired Menegatti is sufficient
  • "With only five international events under their belt," - try not to use Idioms per MOS:IDIOM

2014–2015: First World Tour title

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  • "Their results picked up in September" - got better

2018–present: Comeback

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  • "In the group stage, they upset second-seeded" - they upset the
  • "and 15th-seeded Nina Betschart and Tanja Huberli of Switzerland" - and the 15th-seeded

Style of play

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  • "and' right-handed right-side player." - and a
  • "and said that Orsi Toth keeps her grounded." - I am not so sure what is meant by the text in bold. Please clarify.

References

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Overall, a neatly written article that enabled me to learn a lot from this individaul. Not too many issues to be addressed. MWright96 (talk) 15:34, 10 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@MWright96: Thank you for this thorough review. I think I've adequately addressed all your points save for the last one in the style of play section. In the cited source, Menegatti essentially says that Orsi Toth's down-to-earth demeanor has rubbed off on her ("E lei sdrammatizza, mi fa volare bassa"). I've rewritten that part to say: "and said that Orsi Toth's down-to-earth demeanor keeps her grounded as well", with "grounded" here meant as a synonym for "down-to-earth". Is the new text better? Or do you have any suggestions for how this can be better phrased? Thanks again. Bennv3771 (talk) 16:39, 10 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@Bennv3771: Having review the new text, am happy that it is satisfactory. Can now promote to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 20:45, 10 March 2019 (UTC)[reply]