Talk:W. Webber Kelly/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 05:12, 8 April 2019 (UTC)

And this one. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:12, 8 April 2019 (UTC)

Lead

• Same comment: I would just link "Green Bay Football Corporation" to "Green Bay Packers, Inc." and get rid of what is in the parentheses.
• Also same comment: I don't think Board of Directors should be capitalized, and it should be "Packers' board of directors".

Early life

• Patrick Kelly was a member of the British Army ===>>> His father was a member of the British Army.
• He completed some post-graduate work in Vienna, Austria before moving to America in 1903. ===>>> He completed some post-graduate work in Vienna, Austria before moving to America in 1903. He took a post-graduate job in Vienna, Austria in surgery and medicine before moving to America later that year.

Can you clarify this one? Did you accidentally repeat the original sentence? I also don't like the second sentence as the source uses "work", not "job". Job implies actual pay, whereas post-grad work usually entails some blurring of lines of a job versus an internship. Since the source isn't clear, I prefer to stick with "work". « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:49, 8 April 2019 (UTC)

Okay, that's fair. I don't think the source is using the right terminology, but that's on them. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 04:31, 9 April 2019 (UTC)

Medical career

• In 1914 he was admitted to the American College of Surgeons and completed more post-graduate work in surgery and medicine in London, England. ===>>> In 1914, he was admitted to the American College of Surgeons following more post-graduate work in London, England.

Green Bay Packers

• the Packers would have still had to pay the Duluth team ===>>> the Packers would have still needed to pay the Duluth team
• Board of Directors capitalized
• In 1929, he was elected (add comma)
• Kelly resigned as president ===>>> After the season ended, Kelly resigned as president
• then replacing Kelly as team physician ===>>> then removing Kelly as team physician (OR add who he replaced him with)

Personal life

• Good.

Overall

• No dab links.
• All of the links work.
• No bare refs.
• Image seems fine.

Solid overall. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:53, 8 April 2019 (UTC)

Thanks for another review Sportsfan77777! Everything done except the one noted above. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:49, 8 April 2019 (UTC)

Passed! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 04:32, 9 April 2019 (UTC)