Talk:Walter Potter/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

I am reviewing this article for GA status. ItsLassieTime (talk) 15:51, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

A few first impressions:

The images can be incorporated into the text. Delete the kitten image as it serves no real purpose. The editor has directed the reader to a number of external galleries and the images on this page can be curtailed. Keep the image of the museum and the image of the rabbit school, incorporate them into the text at the appropriate places, and dispense with the gallery. Because the museum image is dated in the 1930s it should probably be placed toward the end of the article and above the "Sale" section.
The article should be divided into sections. For example, the brief lead could be followed with an "Early years" sort of thing, etc. and Potter's death headed with "Later years and death", etc.
Dispense with the many blockquotes. The quotes can be incorporated into the text in the usual manner. As is, they give the page an unprofessional and "jumpy" look. In a short article, they interrupt the flow. Use them sparingly and only to highlight something very, very important.
I'm wondering about all the references. Is it possible to construct this article on two or three good reliable sources rather than a dozen? Even one good reliable source would be enough to merit GA status.
The Guardian in the "Sale" section should be in italics.
The last half of the article dwindles away in paragraphs of one or two sentences only. Can these paragraphs be expanded or merged into something more substantial? For example:

Death and legacy[edit]

Potter suffered a stroke in 1914, from which he never fully recovered, and, in 1918, he died at the age of 83. His museum, which contained about 10,000 specimens, was then managed by his daughter and grandson. In its later days, the museum was forced to deflect claims of animal cruelty by displaying notices stating that all the animals had died naturally and that "in any case, they were all over 100 years old". The "Kittens' Wedding" scene, the last created by Potter in 1890, was displayed at the Victoria and Albert Museum in 2001 as part of "The Victorian Vision" exhibition.

I'm placing the article "ON HOLD" for a day or two. ItsLassieTime (talk) 16:24, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I've taken the above comments on board; as regards the references, I've removed one that was redundant. As for the others, I found it somewhat of a jigsaw puzzle trying to piece the narrative together, and I don't see much scope for further reduction. Many of the references deal solely with a small part of the story, but I'm open to suggestion. --Rodhull andemu 20:07, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I wasn't expecting this to be reviewed so quickly; thanks, and well done! I've taken the opportunity to expand the lead to give a more complete overview of the article, and add details such as his wife and children (lest anyone should think he was a "bit of a weirdo", and to explain later text), and his burial place, which is probably worth noting. Sorry if this creates extra work for you, but I'd rather have the article passed as a complete work than tinker with it afterwards. --Rodhull andemu 21:33, 16 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to PASS the article. I think you've done some good work. I did a bit of editing in the Sale section and moved an image to the left side of the page in order to break the 'three in a vertical row' up a bit. I needed to change a bit with the dashes. Check WP:DASH on this. It can be confusing. Two things: in the lead, clarify "in lifelike situations". Is this natural situations such as birds and animals in their native habitat doing what they would ordinarily do, or posed tableaux with animals in costumes, or both? Also, give us the outcome of the lawsuit the owners of the collection levelled against Bonhams. Thanks and Good Luck! ItsLassieTime (talk) 07:31, 17 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, will fix the lead. The court case, as far as I know, is still grinding its way through the system. --Rodhull andemu 14:44, 17 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]