Talk:What You Want (Evanescence song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 10:50, 28 June 2014 (UTC)

Prose

Lead section

• I think you should mention the overall theme of the song.
• "instrumentally" is redundant
• "on several other component Billboard charts" this makes it seem like the song peaked at number 68 on the other Billboard charts... maybe "achieved higher success in its component charts"
• "number 1 of the UK Rock Chart" of → on // or change it to "topped the UK Rock Chart"
• "other charts in different countries" (other is redundant)
• accompanying is redundant
• I'm not sure if the date when the video started production is essential to the lead.
• "Upon its online release" is very similar to "Upon its release" which was already used in the previous paragraph, could you reword that part so it doesn't become repetitive?
• "later" is used twice in back-to-back sentences

Background and recording

• I think linking New York City is overlinking and you could remove the state.
• "then-upcoming first single from Evanescence's third self-titled album" this is already given in the lead". Make it simple and change it to "the song".
• "more than a hit." How?
• Couldn't the release information be used to expand the 'Release' section?
• "Lee stated the song was inspired by and talked about her relationship with her fans, and the realization that "this [the music career] is what I'm supposed to do".[2] In an interview with MTV News, she explained the theme and the meaning behind the song, "It's about freedom — that's definitely a constant theme on the record — but, it's like Evanescence, and me, and my relationship with the music and the fans, and coming to that realization of 'This is what I'm supposed to do ... I want to do this,' And when it says, 'Remember who you really are,' that's exactly everything you could assume it means" This block of text repeats the same information twice. Perhaps

Lee stated the song was inspired by and talked about her relationship with the band's fans, and the realization that following a music career "is what I'm supposed to do". She also explained that the theme of the song was freedom, saying that the song's lyric "Remember who you really are" was "exactly everything you could assume it means."

• Try to paraphrase the last paragraph a bit, it's just that this section is kind of heavy on quotes.

Release

• "will be released" → "would be released"

Composition

• PopCrush and About.com are not reliable

Chart performance

• "It debuted at number 35 on the Billboard Alternative Songs chart in the United States.[51] The song peaked at number 7 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Chart." Join the sentences with while so the first paragraph of this section flows better.
• "because it coincided with the band's Evanescence Tour" What date are you referring to? Clarify. (April or August)

Music video "The video featured the band's fans who were featured" repetition of featured

• "videos adding" is missing a comma
• ";ee knew" (something's wrong here)
• Break the last paragraph in two

Live performances

• Artisdirect is a typo
• "rocking a lot harder than you might expect" is this referring to the performance of the song or the concert/band overall? if it's the latter, then remove it

References

• Billboard references are inconsistent, being that some are formatted like Billboard (Prometheus etc) and others like Billboard. Prometheus.
• You forgot Rolling Stone's publisher
• Top-40 Charts is a website to avoid, according to WP:BADCHARTS.

Everything  Done except removing Pop Crush. It can be used in GAs, but it is not used in FAs. My love is love (talk) 17:29, 28 June 2014 (UTC)