Talk:William (The X-Files)/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: TBrandley (talk · contribs) 04:34, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Issues[edit]

General[edit]

Infobox[edit]

  • As per "Squeeze" article, it should have Season 9 linked, and the List of The X-Files episodes removed.

Lede[edit]

  • An episode can really "premiered" how about "originally aired". Thanks!
  • Unlink United States as the other countries not linked
  • In the lede, Fox network is linked, but in the "Reception" section, only Fox is linked. Please choose only one.
  • "The story for the episode was developed by former series star David Duchovny, series creator Chris Carter, and executive producer Frank Spotnitz; the teleplay was written by Carter. The episode was directed by Duchovny." A little messy. How about: The teleplay of the episode was written by Chris Carter, from a story by former series star David Duchovny, series creator Carter, and executive producer Frank Spotnitz
  • Could "The episode was directed by Duchovny. "William" be merge with the previous sentence
  • I know this might change everything else, but how about "The season centers on FBI special agents John Doggett (Robert Patrick), Monica Reyes (Annabeth Gish), and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson)", rather than series. Because I see other articles that say it centers on Mulder and Scully
  • "Chris Owens was asked to return to the series for the episode. Owens' character had previously been killed off in the sixth season episode "One Son". How about: "Chris Owens was asked to return to the series for the episode, whose character had previously been killed off in the sixth season episode "One Son"

Plot[edit]

  • older social worker should have the actor name besides in brackets
    • I just removed this section as it isn't really necessary.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:59, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mrs. Van De Kamp should have the actor name beside it in brackets as I see actor in the infobox
  • Add actor name for Baby Williams
  • "an unknown man (Chris Owens watches them." Your missing brackets after Owens
  • "X-Filess" To many "s"' should be "X-Files"
  • "After being knocked down, pursues his assailant. Doggett draws his gun and commands him to stop. The man turns and slowly steps back towards Doggett with his hands up. Doggett’s expression suggests horror at the man’s face." Could some sentences be merge
  • Per MOS:PUNCT, "Consistent use of the straight (or typewriter) apostrophe ( ' ) is recommended, as opposed to the curly (or typographic) apostrophe ( ’ )." That being said, I see that Doggett’s and man’s use that when they should use '
  • "the new one being hidden within the government and the people involved being alien". Awkward, what does that mean?
    • I tried to rephrase it, but the grammar is sound. The new one is in the government and the people in the conspiracy are aliens.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 16:59, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Production[edit]

  • Unlink executive producer, as it is a common term per WP:OVERLINK
  • "Owens' character had previously been killed off in the sixth season episode "One Son"." citation/reference needed
  • Could you add "It was Carter's X writing credit in the series", etc. Thanks!

Broadcast and reception[edit]

  • An episode can really "first premiered" how about "originally aired". Thanks!
  • A little picky, but above it uses "received", but below it uses "earned". Please only choose one.
  • "The episode was viewed by 9.3 viewers" what above it says "viewed by 6.1 million households". Very confused. Is that for the UK, what?
  • "aired". Episodes air all the time, how about "originally broadcast, originally aired, first aired in the United Kingdom, etc."
  • Above it says television critics, here it is only "critics". Choose one please.
  • "Other reviews were not as glowing". Glowing shouldn't be used. IMO it does sound like an ad. How about: Other reviews were negative, etc.
  • Chris Owens should have an apostrophe.
  • "He did however, praised Duchovny's directing" should be "praise", not "praised"

Notes[edit]

  • No issues in such a small section.
    • Good work!

References[edit]

  • Ref. 3: Unlink The X-Files: The Complete Ninth Season as it is already linked in Ref. 1
  • Fox should be linked to Fox Broadcasting Company, not "corporation"
  • Ref. 7: The Hollywood Reporter is missing publisher (Prometheus Global Media)
  • Ref. 8: Unlink 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment as it is linked above
  • Ref. 9: Television Without Pity is missing publisher (NBCUniversal)
  • Ref. 12: "Kessenich, pp. 203–208" is not in the book sources
  • Ref. 13: Salon Magazine should only be Salon
  • Ref. 13: Salon is missing publisher (Salon Media Group)
  • Link the book references in "Footnotes", to the actual book source below as in Triangle (The X-Files)

External links[edit]

After these are fixed, I'd still recommend a copy-edit for the article, particularly in the "Plot" and "Reception" sections. Other than that, great work! TBrandley 05:25, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I went through and cleaned up the prose. Honestly, I don't see very many grammar errors though, so I don't think a full ce is necessary, but I could probably get Grapple to look it over if he has time. In the meantime, I've combed through it.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 17:12, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I agree. Maybe just a quick look. Thanks, TBrandley 17:13, 17 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
OK, Grapple X has given it a copyedit and I've cut down on some of it. It should be good to go.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:37, 19 July 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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