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Talk:William Beanes/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 21:21, 4 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will review, shortly. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:21, 4 October 2020 (UTC)Q[reply]

Comments
  •  Done
  • Saving lede for last, other comments follow the article chronologically


  • "and the second generation with this family name" strikes me as superfluous detail


  • "He was the third generation with the Scottish family name in America and one of the second generation of the family born in America. " I think this is unneeded


  • "third generation with the family name born in America and the fourth Scottish descendant in America with the Beanes family nam" same... It can probably be inferred


  • "They had a son named William," clarify that this is the william who's the subject. Additionally, you don't cite his birth daate in the article


  • "in a comfortable rural environment" do you think you could rephrase this? What does 'a comfortable rural environment refer to?


  • "He became" clarify if, as it presumably means, you are referring to Hanson.


  • I think you can trim some of the detail about John Hanson, because it's really about John and not William.


  • "Boston's position" which was?


  • "put into effect the" just in the county or in the nation?


  • "distinguished scientist with an excellent reputation" is there any substance to this? What does 'scientist' mean here? What about 'excellent reputation?


  • "and his son" Beanes' son or Archer's?


  • "in the Chesapeake Bay area of Maryland" imho unneeded


  • Where were all the other inhabitants of Upper Marlboro? If the source doesn't specify, that's fine.


  • "and that it had perhaps been a ruse" can you rephrase this a little bit?


  • "undue vehemence" can you be a little more specific here?


  • "Ross and Cockburn soon released Bowie and the others" do we know why


  • "appointed by fourth President James Madison" needed?


  • "came across the" presumably they 'reached' the ship rather than just happening upon it?


  • "who refused to release Beanes" do we know why?


  • "Skinner knew Beanes had a good reputation" value?


  • "reputation. He collected letters " who does he refer to


  • "sail back to Baltimore, but held " missing word?


  • I've lightly ce'd, please check that the changes are agreeable to you.


  • Given that there's such a paucity of biographical information on Beanes, how would you feel about re-purposing this into an article on the Writing of the Star Spangled Banner? I don't think it would take much work, mostly the lede, but also understand there's a case to be made for keeping the article as is. Let me know what you think, please. I'm fine either way. Nice work on this interesting topic. Eddie891 Talk Work 01:33, 21 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Misc

[edit]
  • Images are good
  • Sources look good, but formatting for newspaper articles is wonky. Did you use Newspapers.com? If so, I recommend adding links to the clippings. Otherwise, they are fine as is
  •  Done - I did not put those in the article. I believe in properly citing news clippings and providing link. I use Newspaper.com alot, as you might have already noticed. Fixed those news references with proper cites where applicable. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:40, 23 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Earwigs has a pretty high percent, but that looks almost definitely like a mirror
@Eddie891: These further points addressed. Can you look again please. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:40, 23 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
User:Eddie891 These further points addressed. Can you look again please. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:55, 27 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Spotcheck
    • I don't know that source 11 is enough to substantiate 'some historians', when it merely looks like an ad