Talk:William E. Woods/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 13:19, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Nominator: Ezlev (talk · contribs) at 21:47, 7 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA criteria

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): } d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Comments

Prose

Remove these duplicate links:
- same-sex couples
- Hawaii Department of Health
- marriage licenses
- heterosexuality
- Hawaii Department of Health
- Honolulu
- Hawaii state circuit court
- pride parade
- Democratic Party of Hawaii
- Hawaii Department of Health (3rd)
  - Yikes! Removed. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Beginning in 1972 and ending with his death in 2008, Woods advocated — Honestly, it can just be "He advocated"
- Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
he secured a job with the Hawaii Department of Health — 'with' seems odd here. 'for'? 'in'?
- Changed to 'in'. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
in his capacity as executive director; Woods critiqued — should be a comma in place of the semi colon, I think/
- Yup, done ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
In the lead's last para, we jump from 1990 to 2003, then back to 1990.
- Swapped sentences to resolve. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Redlinks are important, but we have too many of them. Can we remove a few, especially from the lead?
- Yes, definitely – will circle back to this one. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, I've removed several redlinks from the article body. The lede is tricky – the four redlinks there are all relevant, notable, and would be linked from the lede if they were existing articles. WP:REDLINK seems to suggest that they should be included. What do you think? ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:51, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
If all of them are important, fine. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:50, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
In the infobox, we have Honolulu, Hawai'i and University of Hawaii [emphasis added]. Interchange them.
- Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
in Arthur, Illinois before — missing MOS:GEOCOMMA
- Comma added. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
After graduating from the University of Hawaiʻi in 1971 — Already mentionning in the immediately previous section.
- Changed to just After graduating from UH. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
for four — "for the four"
- Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
After the Supreme Court's decision in — Specify 'United States' Supreme Court
- Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
had a circulation of 40,000 copies, 23,000 in Hawaii and 17,000 across the rest of the United States — exact or approximate?
- The source doesn't say, so I'd rather not assume, though of course the odds would suggest it's approximate. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
If they were not successfully able to marry, — Rephrase (avoid starting a sentence with 'If', 'Had', etc.)
- Swapped clauses: Woods planned to take them down the street to the headquarters of the ACLU of Hawaii if they were not successfully able to marry. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
but the media's attention — linking media appears to be WP:Overlinking
- Unlinked ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
As of January 1992, Woods was executive director of the GLEAF. — Perhaps, "In Jan.."
- Fair enough, done ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
(equivalent to $4,377 in 2021) — round off to 100s; same with other templates
- ...I didn't even know that was possible. Done! ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Woods acquired nomination papers to run for Governor of Hawaii as a — lowercase 'G' per MOS:JOBTITLE
- Done, also tweaked wording. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article!

Thanks so much, Kavyansh.Singh! I've made the changes you suggested. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Looks good! Suggesting to add ALT text.
- Alt text added. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

References

Why do we have pp. for newspapers pages? They don't seem to be ranges. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:26, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
- Ugh, good catch – something to do with the letter inclusion in the page numbering systems. Fixed manually. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Pretty solid article; promoting! If you have time and inclination, would appreciate if you can review any of these. Thanks! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:58, 12 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]