Talk:William J. Ennis/GA1

GA Review[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Frzzl (talk · contribs) 10:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'm happy to review this article, pleased to be able to work with you. I should be able to send over some comments within the next two days. Frzzl talk; contribs 10:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Ergo Sum Sorry it's taken me a while to get round to this review - only a few small points listed below. Thank you for your patience. Frzzl talk; contribs 12:19, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review, @Frzzl/t:. Ergo Sum 14:07, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for responding so quickly. Would you be willing for me to review another of your articles in the future? I understand if not, it did take me far too long to review this. Frzzl talk; contribs 17:55, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I would be delighted if you reviewed any of 7 other GANs I have pending right now. You were a breeze to work with. Ergo Sum 18:24, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Review[edit]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
List of works appear fine - points on prose below
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
References are nicely formatted with sfns, spotchecks will be below. Earwig comes up with 10.7%, no plagiarism found.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Article seems well balanced, gives a decent, if not hugely long, overview of Ennis' life.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
NPOV throughout
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
No edit wars found.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Only image used is in the public domain by age; could we add a caption to the infobox image just to note that it was an image taken in/around 1911, to provide a picture of his age at time of photographing?

Added caption. Ergo Sum 13:58, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Points & Spotchecks[edit]

Prose points[edit]

Lead[edit]

the link density here is too high

Unlink "vice principal" in the first paragraph, relink it in the second. Unlink "principal" in the second paragraph.
- I've unlinked vice principal. I've kept principal in the second paragraph though because that's a term that has different meanings in different countries, so I think it is useful. Plus, the second paragraph has few links. Ergo Sum 14:00, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Unlink "New York City", we have a link to it in the Early Life section
- Done. Ergo Sum 14:00, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Early life[edit]

A bit of overlinking here

"Greenwich Village section" -> "Greenwich Village neighbourhood"?
- Done. Ergo Sum 14:00, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
He then studied philosophy at Woodstock College in Maryland and then taught at -> "He then studied philosophy at Woodstock College in Maryland and taught at..."; I think if the second "then" is removed, the sentence flows better.
- Replaced "then" with "afterwards" to keep the chronology. Ergo Sum 14:01, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Unlink "Society of Jesus"
- I've had this discussion on several other GANs and FACs. The consensus seems to be to link Society of Jesus because while "Jesuit" is a somewhat generally known term, Society of Jesus is less so. Ergo Sum 14:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
I think doing "Frederick, Maryland" might be better just because there's a lot of wikilinking here. If we do this, remove the next link to Maryland
- I've removed the link to Maryland but kept that to Frederick, Maryland because I don't think the state one is necessary with all the others. Ergo Sum 14:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Remove links to Woodstock and Georgetown - you've already linked to them in the lead
- Done. Ergo Sum 14:06, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Unlink "Loyola College in Maryland" - it's been linked to in the lead, and the article's not long enough to warrant a relink for this section
- Done. Ergo Sum 14:06, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Loyola School[edit]

make "scholastics" link to the "Scholastics" section of the Jesuit Formation article
- Done. Ergo Sum 14:03, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
redlink "James P. Fagan"
- Fagan is not notable, so no article will be created about him. Ergo Sum 14:04, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks[edit]

checked all the Fagan refs, seems fine there
Loyola school website is OK
Read through the Woodstock letters about Ennis, happy with that too

only qualm about the referencing is "studied at St. Francis Xavier College, later known as Xavier High School." - Woodstock doesn't explicitly mention this new name, so I think it would be better to pipelink "St. Francis Xavier College", rather than put in a new ref to cover the rename.

Done. Ergo Sum 14:04, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.