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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 18:12, 21 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Starting on another one for you soon --K. Peake 18:12, 21 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • Mid-to-late 2001 → 2001
  • Separate studios in the infobox by using flatlist instead
  • "on the record label Anti- on" → "by Anti- on"
  • "of third studio album" → "of their third studio album,"
  • "for the remainder of the year." → "for the remainder of 2000."
  • Are you sure the track wasn't recorded with Robert Carranza?
  • Target Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Milwaukee
  • "Wood/Water moved away from" → "The album moved away from"
  • "was met with a generally favorable response from" → "received generally favorable reviews from"
  • "the band could promote the album," → "the band promoted it,"
  • "embarked on a US tour," → "embarked on an accompanying US tour,"
  • "was released as the lead single" → "was released as the album's lead single"
  • "The band appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien before" → "The Promise Ring appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien in May 2002, before"
  • "a US support slot followed" → "a US support slot for Jimmy Eat World followed"
  • "The Promise Ring appeared on the" → "The band performed for the"

Background

[edit]
  • Retitle to Background and recording

Writing and Bohlen's illness

[edit]
  • "third studio album, Very Emergency, in" → "third studio album Very Emergency in"
  • Wikilink record label
  • "Very Emergency expanded the band's" → "The album expanded the band's"
  • "worked on the" → "worked as part of the"
  • "tired of playing what" → "were tired of playing what"
  • "released the Electric Pink EP in" → "released their sixth EP Electric Pink in"
  • "Although the Promise Ring was then" → "Although the band were then"
  • "the tour now canceled," → "the tour having been canceled,"
  • "supported Bad Religion," → "supported Bad Religion on tour,"
  • "style to Nothing Feels Good (1997)." → "style to their second studio album Nothing Feels Good (1997) than Very Emergency."
  • "which forced the Promise Ring" → "that forced the Promise Ring"
  • "and unable to tour" → "and made them unable to tour"
  • Mention what year they couldn't tour for the rest of
  • "graphics company; Bohlen and" → "graphics company, while Bohlen and"
  • "The band brought" → "The Promise Ring brought"

Pre-production and label change

[edit]
  • Target Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Milwaukee
  • "which differed in style" → "that differed in style"
  • "In May of that year," → "In May 2001,"
  • "jamming in rehearsal," → "jamming when rehearsing,"
  • "although initially writing material" → "although initially wrote material"
  • "they re-evaluated and" → "the Promise Ring re-evaluated and"
  • "with Jade Tree by March 2001," → "signed to Jade Tree by March 2001,"
  • "later in the year." → "later that year."
  • "They contacted the band's manager," → "The record label contacted the band's manager,"
  • Are you sure "cold" is the correct word here?
  • "with that label;" → "with the imprint;"
  • "The label was" → "Anti- was"
  • "wanted move away" → "wanted to move away"
  • "the band and label" → "the band and Jade Tree"
  • "less synonymous"," → "less synonymous,""
  • "from the Jade Tree sound." → "from the record label's sound."
  • "to license the band's releases" → "to license the Promise Ring's releases"
  • "to license the Electric Pink EP to Epitaph" → "to license Electric Pink to Epitaph"
  • "European release and to" → "European release, and to"
  • "the Promise Ring was becoming" → "the Promise Ring were becoming"

Production

[edit]
  • "the sound they wanted." → "the sound they wanted to create."
  • "whom Street produced." → "whom Street had produced for."
  • "the band flew to" → "the Promise Ring flew to"
  • "They were in" → "The band were in"
  • "they decided to" → "the Promise Ring decided to"
  • Remove brackets around in the UK
  • "The song included" → "The song features"
  • "the remainder of the" → "the remained of Wood/Water's"
  • "the band had toured with Camden earlier in the year." → "the Promise Ring had toured with Camden earlier in 2001."
  • "returned from vacation he said" → "returned from vacation, he said"
  • "where they played him the songs'" → "playing him the songs'"
  • "to the previous day's recordings." → "to the recordings from each previous day."
  • "assisted by Jon Olliffe." → "with assistance from Jon Olliffe."
  • "Street and the band ran" → "Street and the Promise Ring ran"
  • "on it turned out to be enjoyable." → "on the song turned out to be enjoyable for them."
  • "beginning in September" → "beginning in September 2001"
  • "The sessions total cost was" → "The total cost for the sessions was"
  • 200,000 → $200,000
  • "of the band's" → "of the Promise Ring's"
  • "at Jacobs except for" → "at Jacobs, except for"

Composition and lyrics

[edit]
  • "the sound of Wood/Water has been described as" → "Wood/Water has been described as"
  • Target alternative pop to Alternative rock
  • "from their older emo sound," → "from their old emo sound,"
  • Wikilink acoustic guitars
  • Target folk to Folk music
  • "were also present." → "are also present."
  • "was reminiscent of the works by" → "was described as reminiscent of the music by"
  • "Wheat and the Delgados." → "Wheat, and the Delgados."
  • "Its title is from" → "The title of Wood/Water comes from"
  • "and its lyrics addressed" → "and lyrics on Wood/Water address"
  • "were related to touring, especially touring for" → "are related to touring, especially the tours for"
  • "which was compared to that in" → "that was compared to that on"
  • "garage rock-pop song evoked" → "garage rock-pop song evokes"
  • "keyboard ending recalled" → "keyboard ending recalls the sound of"
  • "set the lyrical tone for the rest of the album." → "sets the lyrical tone for the rest of Wood/Water."
  • "Street told the band to" → "During recording, Street told the Promise Ring to"
  • Target croquet mallets to Croquet
  • "showcasing Bohlen's storytelling" → "that showcases Bohlen's storytelling"
  • [36][33][43] should be put in numerical order
  • Wikilink synthesizers
  • "resembles the band's earlier material" → "resembles their earlier material"
  • [36][34][44] put in numerical order
  • Target chorus to Refrain
  • Wikilink drum machine
  • "as the band shifts" → "as the Promise Ring shifts"
  • "Reminiscent of 10cc, Bohlen wonders" → "The song is reminiscent of 10cc's style, with Bohlen wondering"
  • "which the band had" → "that the band had"
  • "despite listening to" → "despite listening to the Smiths' fourth studio album"
  • "an ambient country song which" → "an ambient country song, which"
  • "The folk rock "My Life Is at Home"" → "The folk rock track "My Life Is at Home""
  • Where do any of the sources mention comparisons to the Beach Boys and Weezer?
I had accidentally copied the wrong URL; fixed with correct one that mentions the comparisons. Yeepsi (talk) 14:01, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Release

[edit]
  • Retitle to Release and promotion
  • "online on March 3." → "online on March 3 of that year."
  • "The band played a" → "The Promise Ring played a"
  • "on March 26 on a" → "on March 26, 2001 via a"
  • Target 10" vinyl to Phonograph record
  • "This version contains one bonus track," → "The version contains one bonus track," with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
  • "the band made two acoustic" → "the Promise Ring delivered two acoustic"
  • "in April and May, supported" → "in April and May of 2002, being supported"
  • "Arni + Kinski (formerly of GusGus)." → "former GusGus members Arni + Kinski."
  • "On May 24," → "On May 24 of that year,"
  • "released on May 27." → "released on May 27, 2002."
  • "released as a single on July 9;" → "released as the album's lead single on July 9 of that year;" with the wikilink
  • "of "Stop Playing Guitar" and" → "of "Stop Playing Guitar" alongside"
  • Target CD to Compact disc
  • "featured edit and album versions" does it feature multiple edits or just one? either change to "featured edits" or "featured an edit"
  • "The band again supported Jimmy Eat World for a" → "Jimmy Eat World were again supported by the Promise Ring for a"
  • "in late July and early August." → "in late July and early August of 2002."
  • "announced on October 14 that the band" → "announced on October 14, 2002 that they"

Reception

[edit]
  • Retitle to Critical reception
  • "thoughtful musicality", and" → "thoughtful musicality," and"
  • "wrote that the" → "said of the album that the"
  • "disappeared", replaced by" → "disappeared", being replaced by"
  • "songs" which have" → "songs," which have"
  • "the album was a" → "the album is a"
  • "music critic Adrien Begrand called" → "critic Adrien Begrand called"
  • "hearing the band" → "hearing the Promise Ring"
  • "slower track", and" → "slower track," and"
  • "were a" → "are a"
  • "which saw the band" → "that sees the Promise Ring"
  • "made it sound more" → "make it sound more"
  • "the Promise Ring; it wasn't a" → "the Promise Ring; he said the album wasn't a"
  • Target hook to Hook (music)
  • "However, the album" → "However, he opined that the album"
  • ""admirable", "you" → ""admirable," DiCrescenzo explained that "you"
  • Wikilink Sizzler

Track listing

[edit]
  • except "Say Goodbye Good" by → except "Say Goodbye Good", produced by

Personnel

[edit]
  • Target Quincy McCrary to Quetzal (band)
  • Any specific order for the Production personnel?
I put them in the order as they appear in the booklet. Yeepsi (talk) 14:01, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score looks good at 21.3%
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
  • WP:OVERLINK of Anti- on ref 17
  • Various publications calling the album pop: → Citations regarding publications calling the album pop: on ref 32
  • Cite Pitchfork as work instead for ref 34
  • WP:OVERLINK of The A.V. Club on ref 36
  • WP:OVERLINK of NME on ref 40
  • MOS:CAPS issues with ref 52; ANTI is the part with the issues here since it is not stylised like that, though MP3 is fine since it is supposed to be in that style of capitalisation
  • Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 55 and 61
  • Wikilink CMJ New Music Monthly under sources per MOS:LINK2SECT
[edit]
  • Good

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
  •  On hold though do not feel afraid to reach out if you are somewhat confused about any of the requested changes; let's hope your response speed is on track with the previous rate though. --K. Peake 12:30, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Done. Yeepsi (talk) 14:01, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Yeepsi I did some brief copyediting where issues still needed fixing; a word of advice for next time would be to look through the requested changes yourself and double check that you have done them all before claiming to be done.  Pass time has come now though, good job! --K. Peake 17:45, 22 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]