Talk:Yusuf Sayfa/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 22:42, 7 November 2020 (UTC)
- So with that IP triggered review page out of the way, I'll have a look soon. My paternal family is from the Tripoli/Akkar area, so it will be especially interesting for me. FunkMonk (talk) 22:42, 7 November 2020 (UTC)
- At first glance, some cities appear to be duplinked, you can highlight them with this script:[1]
- Done.
- "The establishment of Turkmen and Kurdish military colonies around Tripoli started during Mamluk rule" You could state somewhere when it changed to Ottoman rule?
- Done.
- Qurqumaz ibn Yunis just links to Ma'n dynasty, which is linked right after him, so seems redundant.
- Fixed the link, it now directs to the relevant section of the Ma'n article. If it's still considered redundant, I'll remove it.
- "powerful chieftain in Syria" Link Ottoman Syria or something like that?
- Done. On a related note, I was not sure whether to use the term Syria (as enough readers may confuse for modern Syria) or the Levant. Thoughts?
- Hmmm, I think it's fine as is as long as you somehow make clear that we are talking about Syria as a region early on. Maybe say that it was an Ottoman region divided into administrative subdivisions or something. Or maybe "was a subdivision of Damascus Eyalet spanning the Syrian coastlands" could be something like "was a subdivision of Damascus Eyalet spanning the coastlands of the Ottoman region of Syria/"? FunkMonk (talk) 11:57, 11 November 2020 (UTC)
- The relevance of the Tripoli Citadel image isn't made clear in its current location, could context maybe be established in the caption?
- "In 1585 an Ottoman expedition was launched against the local chieftains in Syria, including Yusuf." Why? I know there is a linked article, but could be good with a brief explanation here.
- The term iltizam doesn't seem to be linked or explained in the article.
- Done, clarified that a multazim is a holder of iltizam (tax farm) and there’s already some explanation about tax farming in the region.
- Link Shia Muslim?
- Done.
- Link Baalbek?
- Done.
- "near the Dog River" Why use an English name here?
- Changed to "Nahr al-Kalb river". For this and the below points about the forts, I was not sure whether it was best to use the local name or the English name.
- "Yusuf escaped to the Krak des Chevaliers" Would it perhaps be more appropriate to use a contemporary local name for the structure here? Or at least mention it?
- Likewise with Beaufort Castle?
- Again, for this article and related articles that I have been working on, I was not sure which names would be best. I would think Krak des Chevaliers and Beaufort work better as "common names" for English readers, but maybe the difference is marginal. How about using "Hisn al-Akrad" and "Shaqif Arnun", but on first mention for each I note in parentheses that they refer to the Krak des Chevaliers and Beaufort? Al Ameer (talk) 21:50, 10 November 2020 (UTC)
- "and demanded that he make peace sealed by a marriage alliance between their families" So were anyone married?
- "who alternaively" Missing t?
- Fixed.
- "hanging his body at the Kras des Chevaliers" Krak?
- Fixed.
- Considering how much you've already written about Fakhr al-Din II, I wonder if he'll get the GAN treatment too?