Template:Did you know nominations/Asher Vollmer, Puzzlejuice

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:32, 28 July 2014 (UTC)

Asher Vollmer, Puzzlejuice[edit]

Screenshot of Puzzlejuice

Mainspaced by Czar (talk). Self nominated at 13:22, 13 July 2014 (UTC).

  • Both articles were mainspaced on 6 July, are long enough, well referenced, neutral and without copyvio (from spotcheck of most-cited sources). The second half of the hook is cited in the Puzzlejuice article; both articles confirm that Vollmer was the main developer. I found the end of the hook a bit unwieldy and confusing so I have shortened it to ALT1 below. (Since Puzzlejuice is at GAN, I thought I'd mention my concern that the 1990s "EXTREME" bit doesn't make sense to me even in the context of the article, so you may want to reword or clarify it, Czar.) The image is PD and two QPQs have been done. Good to go with the simplified alt hook.
@97198, I rephrased the hook to remove "EXTREME"—what do you think? (Otherwise we need to wait for someone to review the ALT, etc. czar  16:22, 26 July 2014 (UTC)
I still prefer the shorter hook - I think it's interesting enough on its own without the added material from the original hook. Generally, it's best to keep hooks as brief as possible, since readers are more likely to pass over long, wordy hooks without reading them. Approving the alt shouldn't be an issue since it's basically the original hook you suggested but with the latter half removed. 97198 (talk) 08:07, 27 July 2014 (UTC)
Re: wordiness, I've never heard of that as a DYK rule and I'm not sure it's true. I'm fine with the shorter hook but not at the expense of the original hook. Is the original good to go? Thanks for the review czar  16:56, 27 July 2014 (UTC)