Template:Did you know nominations/Bahrain health worker trials

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 05:42, 19 June 2012 (UTC)

Bahrain health worker trials

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... that twenty Bahraini health workers (some pictured) were sentenced to up to fifteen years' imprisonment by a military court in a trial that lasted for only a few minutes?

ALT1:... that forty-eight doctors, nurses, and dentists are being tried in Bahrain for their actions during the national uprising?
ALT2:... that forty-eight Bahraini doctors, nurses, and dentists who treated protesters during the national uprising are being tried on charges such as "plotting to overthrow the government"?
ALT3:... that many of the doctors, nurses, and dentists getting tried in Bahrain for their actions during the national uprising complained of torture?
Comment: Pick the hook you find most interesting.

Created/expanded by Khazar2 (talk). Nominated by Bahraini Activist (talk) at 10:25, 27 May 2012 (UTC)

Created on May 25th, long enough and within policy. I did not think there were any NPOV issues. All of the hooks are supported by the article and its references but I prefer the original hook. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:07, 7 June 2012 (UTC)

I'm concerned that some of the phrasing used in this article may be too close to that of its sources. Compare for example "After widespread international criticism, however, the convictions were overturned by Bahrain's attorney general, and the defendants were scheduled to be retried by civilian courts" with "following a barrage of international criticism, Bahrain’s attorney general overturned the convictions and ordered retrials in a civilian court", or "the release of some defendants on bail was a sign that authorities had softened their stance" with "the medics' release on bail was a sign that the government was softening its approach". Nikkimaria (talk) 20:05, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

Fixed both. You've got some sharp eyes :O Mohamed CJ (talk) 20:38, 9 June 2012 (UTC)

Another pair of eyes? Mohamed CJ (talk) 20:51, 10 June 2012 (UTC)

The second instance given above is still quite close; could it be further edited? Nikkimaria (talk) 17:22, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

How about "which had analyzed authorities would ease their stance after releasing some defendants on bail"? Mohamed CJ (talk) 17:36, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

Much better, thanks. Nikkimaria (talk) 16:34, 18 June 2012 (UTC)