Template:Did you know nominations/Colletes halophilus

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 21:52, 29 July 2017 (UTC)

Colletes halophilus[edit]

Created/expanded by Quetzal1964 (talk). Self-nominated at 08:17, 5 July 2017 (UTC).

  • This interesting article is new enough and long enough. The hook facts are sourced inline and the article is neutral. I think you have four DYKs, and will need to do a QPQ review for your next nomination. There is some phraseology in the article that is too close to the source. Here are some examples, but there may be other instances::
  • Article "a cluster of five to six cells which radiate from the end of a short, curved burrow."
  • Source "a cluster of five to six cells radiates from the end of a short, curved burrow."
  • Article "Males may occasionally be found roosting in groups of up to a dozen on grass stems"
  • Source "The males are infrequently recorded roosting in aggregations of as many as a dozen individuals on grass stems."
  • Article "may be subject to occasional inundation by the sea."
  • Source "may be subject to occasional inundation by the sea."

Just changing a single word, as in "groups" to "aggregations" is insufficient, the whole passage should be written in your own words with a different sentence structure from the source.

Do we need the "Near threatened" in the hook? Most people won't know what it means and it is only a single step above "least concern". ALT1 needs to mention England if it is to be used. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:27, 26 July 2017 (UTC)

Hi, Cwmhiraeth I have already done two reviews but you are correct that I have 4 DYKs in respect of articles I have written or completed major edits on so far, although I also nominated Myrtle Florence Broome for a DYK which means that I think I would needed to have undertaken at least one review by now. The reviews are Template:Did you know nominations/Typhoon Vera (1986) and Template:Did you know nominations/Shinano River.
For ALT1 how about "that one of the largest colonies of the rare sea aster mason bee Colletes halophilus is in an abandoned sand pile in England?". As for the close paraphrasing sometimes that is difficult, especially when describing specific concepts but I'll give it a go on the examples you gave. Quetzal1964 (talk) 19:41, 26 July 2017 (UTC)
  • ALT1a ... that one of the largest colonies in England of the rare sea aster mason bee Colletes halophilus is in an abandoned pile of sand?
  • The changes you have made to the article seem acceptable to me. Approving the new hook which I have rephrased as ALT1a. I agree that avoiding close paraphrasing is difficult, particularly in such things as "Description" sections, where the description is always given in a conventional order, and such things as colours need to be rendered as accurately as possible. Nice article, keep up the good work! Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:43, 27 July 2017 (UTC)