Template:Did you know nominations/Eliza Pottie

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Eddie891 (talk) 13:37, 17 March 2021 (UTC)

Eliza Pottie

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~~... that Eliza Pottie was one of a small group of women that founded the first Young Women's Christian Association branch in Sydney, which became the first permanent YWCA in the country?~~ Source: [1] Australian Dictionary of Biography
- ALT1:~~... that Eliza Pottie attended the first gathering of the National Council of Women New South Wales, as a delegate for the Woman's Christian Temperance Union?~~ Source: [2] Australian Dictionary of Biography
- ALT2:... that Eliza Pottie was one of a small group of women that founded the first Young Women's Christian Association branch in Sydney? Source: [3] Australian Dictionary of Biography

Created by PMCH2 (talk). Self-nominated at 22:21, 1 March 2021 (UTC).

Interesting life, on good sources, no copyvio obvious. - I like the first hook better than the ALT, and think it could end after Sidney. Who cares about the "first permanent"? - In the article, I suggest you check commas once more, - I think you have some too many but may be wrong. I am not happy with the last sentence of the lead: link the organization please, don't repeat "religious", and find a different word for "informed". I'd like a bit more lead, - not necessary for approval, but good for a reader needing an overview. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:13, 2 March 2021 (UTC)

I have removed commas and expanded and reworded the lede. I am fine with shortening the fact.PMCH2 (talk) 02:56, 3 March 2021 (UTC)

fine, thank you! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:41, 3 March 2021 (UTC)