Template:Did you know nominations/Herlyn Espinal

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by 97198 (talk) 12:00, 18 December 2014 (UTC)

Herlyn Espinal

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~~... that Herlyn Espinal, who was chief correspondent of the Honduras newspaper Hoy Mismo, was found murdered by multiple gun shot wounds on July 21, 2014?~~

ALT1:~~... that Honduran journalist Herlyn Espinal had serious aspirations of running for mayor of his hometown of Santa Rita, Yoro, before his murder?~~

5x expanded by DaltonCastle (talk). Self nominated at 19:38, 8 October 2014 (UTC).

5x expansion verified. New enough, long enough, well-referenced with mostly Spanish-language sources. No QPQ needed for new nominator. ALT1 is more hooky; foreign-language hook ref AGF and cited inline. I added some links to the hook.
However, there seems to be close paraphrasing throughout the article; here's an example from an English-language source which needs to be rewritten in your own words:
Source: However, PEN is concerned by reports that investigators ruled out Espinal's work as a journalist as a possible motive within 24 hours of his body being found.
Article: PEN, the international organization for writers, expressed concern at reports that investigators had ruled out Espinal's activity as a journalist as a possible motive within 24 hours of his body being found.
Using Google Translate, I also found close paraphrasing in the first Spanish-language source I looked up (footnote 4), and went through the article removing the copyvios. This is very tedious work for me to do. I would like to request that you review all the Spanish-language sources and make sure you are not copying the wording. Please note that any words that are lifted from a source, whether in an interviewer's question or in the response, must be put in quotes or rephrased in your own words.
Regarding the presentation, it is interesting and well-written. However, there's a lot of discussion of the inconsistencies in newspaper reports and not many hard facts. Several of your English-language sources quote the national police chief as saying that Espinal was shot twice, but you don't mention that at all. Have there been any other developments in the investigation? Yoninah (talk) 01:25, 14 November 2014 (UTC)

@DaltonCastle: It's been two weeks since this was last reviewed but no progress has been made to address the concerns raised. Are you still working on this or should I tag this as stale? Fuebaey (talk) 11:56, 29 November 2014 (UTC)

I have notified DaltonCastle's talk page that the nomination is on the verge of being closed as unsuccessful, since there has been no response here even though there were extensive edits made after Fuebaey's ping here. Because pings don't always work from here, I suggest allowing at least 48 hours for a response here before closing. BlueMoonset (talk) 04:33, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

Hello all, sorry for responding late. There were some other things I wanted to work on first. I will address this page at a later date most likely. Although I've been editing for quite some time I'm relatively new to DYK. I still need to familiarize myself with some of the guidelines. Thank you for your assistance. DaltonCastle (talk) 19:00, 2 December 2014 (UTC)

DaltonCastle, while I appreciate that you're new to DYK, I'm afraid "address this page at a later date most likely" is not sufficient to keep the nomination open, given its age: the nomination is two months old on Monday. Regretfully, unless you can make a commitment to start addressing the issues soon—I see you spent time editing a different article entirely on December 4—then this nomination will be closed. I'm happy to let you have until the end of the day on December 9 to decide (or later if your next Wikipedia edit is after that date). BlueMoonset (talk) 15:20, 6 December 2014 (UTC)

I understand completely. Although I will certainly work on this page in the future more, I cannot promise it will be soon. I am not always on WP but when I am I work sporadically and usually have a couple of different things I want to do. I will work on this page right now some, but it may not be sufficient to keep the nomination alive. What I am saying is I will not argue if the nomination is closed.DaltonCastle (talk) 20:23, 8 December 2014 (UTC)

Yoninah, I notice you've been doing some editing in the pats day or two on the article. As you were the original reviewer of the article, have your concerns been addressed? If not, is the article close enough that the nomination should remain open? (If significant close paraphrasing remains, then probably not.) Thanks for any guidance you can give. BlueMoonset (talk) 17:58, 10 December 2014 (UTC)

In the past few days, the page creator has made an effort to eliminate the close paraphrasing, and I have also done some editing to polish the presentation. However, now there are 2 paragraphs without any sourcing at all; there should at least one cite per paragraph, per DYK rules. I think it's worth leaving the nomination open for the page creator to add these cites. I also have a question about the ALT1 hook. The source, from 2009, said he had aspirations of running for mayor, but there's no source that says he was "serious" about it in 2014. Since I added a cite to this line, perhaps this would be a hookier hook:
ALT2 ~~... that Herlyn Espinal was the forty-third journalist murdered in Honduras since 2013?~~
I'm leaving another note on the page creator's talk page. Yoninah (talk) 21:54, 10 December 2014 (UTC)

@DaltonCastle:, the procedure on DYK nomination templates is to add any new comment to the bottom of the thread and sign it, so the template retains a chronological order of posts. If you wish to change the hook, you should number it as the next ALT. I am hereby adding the change you made to the hook, and striking through the hook (ALT1) that we're not using:
ALT3: ... that Honduran journalist Herlyn Espinal had aspirations of running for mayor of his hometown of Santa Rita, Yoro, before his murder? DaltonCastle (talk) 03:01, 11 December 2014 (UTC)
Now I'm just waiting for you to add cites to those 2 paragraphs that are tagged. Thanks, Yoninah (talk) 10:30, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

I've removed the first unsourced paragraph on when his body was discovered because it's written like journalistic speculation, not cited fact. I wasn't able to find when exactly he was found but if anyone does they can add it under Discovery. The second paragraph is referenced. Fuebaey (talk) 07:27, 17 December 2014 (UTC)

Thank you, @Fuebaey: for your help. The citations issue has been resolved. So has the close paraphrasing issue. The page creator's ALT3 hook is AGF (foreign-language, although I verified it on Google Translate), and cited inline. The rest of my original review still stands. ALT3 good to go. Yoninah (talk) 01:16, 18 December 2014 (UTC)