Template:Did you know nominations/Meinen Jesum laß ich nicht, BWV 124

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by PumpkinSky talk 00:38, 10 January 2012 (UTC)

Meinen Jesum laß ich nicht, BWV 124[edit]

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  • Comment: Cantata for the first Sunday after Epiphany, 8 January 2012, to appear between 7 January and 13 January, 7 preferred. The author Keymann may or may not get to DYK standard by then.

Created/expanded by Gerda Arendt (talk). Self nom at 15:31, 3 January 2012 (UTC)

  • Alternative for a date later than 7 January which seems likely:
ALT1: ... that Bach composed for the first Sunday after Epiphany Meinen Jesum laß ich nicht, BWV 124, based on Christian Keymann's chorale which translates to "I will not let go of my Jesus"?
  • I've modified the hook for grammar. Please make sure I didn't change what you meant.
Hook: Interesting, cited.
Article: New and long enough. Referencing is fine. Needs a copyedit; I'll do the paraphrasing checks after I do the copyedit. Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:14, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
Paraphrasing fine and fine, AGF on German offline source.
Summary: Needs feedback on the hook. Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:45, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
Next time please leave it as it was and supply an ALT. I tried to avoid the translation of the title after the cantata because of the BWV# in between. Perhaps something like "chorale of the same name might be added? And it's the cantata for Epiphany, I don't understand that "and", --Gerda Arendt (talk) 13:57, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
ALT3: ... that Bach composed Meinen Jesum laß ich nicht, which translates to "I will not let go of my Jesus", based on Christian Keymann's chorale for the first Sunday after Epiphany?
K, I've split them into new alts. Do you prefer either? Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:22, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
  • Thank you! Of the two I would prefer ALT3, because only the BWV# makes the difference between chorale and cantata, the more important if we don't even say "cantata", but both read as if the chorale is for the first Sunday after Epiphany. It is not, the cantata is. I still hope to expand Keymann a bit within the next hours. How is this:
ALT4: ... a chorale by Christian Keymann is the base for Bach's cantata Meinen Jesum laß ich nicht, BWV 124, ("I will not let go of my Jesus"), composed for the first Sunday after Epiphany? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:59, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks for ce! Language question: "had reflected ... about someone who had lost Jesus" reads to me as if it is about someone specific. It is the highly general situation of anybody who has lost Jesus. Is that covered by "about someone"? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:20, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
  • Note Please be sure to use {{Lang}} on any German in the eventual hook. 21:28, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
  • I added the poet to the nomination, in ALT4 only, as the one we discuss. Will try to add a bit more if I can find it, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 23:59, 7 January 2012 (UTC)
  • K, ALT4 is nice. This needs a review of Keymann now. Regarding the language question, I can see how one would misunderstand that. I hope the new wording is clearer. Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:43, 8 January 2012 (UTC)
  • Hook: Dealt with above.
Article: New enough, short 12 characters. There is an unreferenced paragraph. Sources are well formatted and seem reliable. Paraphrasing needs work.
Summary: Keymann, not yet, for length, referencing, and paraphrasing reasons. The cantata is fine. Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:29, 8 January 2012 (UTC)
I expanded the poet and rephrased some paraphrasing. Trying to give a little more weight to the poet:
ALT5: ... that writer Christian Keymann and composer Andreas Hammerschmidt collaborated on a hymn, the base for Bach's cantata Meinen Jesum laß ich nicht, BWV 124 ("I will not let go of my Jesus")? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:35, 8 January 2012 (UTC)
On the wording in the cantata article: "those" doesn't capture that the title "Mein liebster ..." is singular, it's one person speaking, but not an individual person, - do you know what I mean? Also it should be worded the same way in both cantatas. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:34, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
  • Keymann looks good now. How's the new wording in the cantata? Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:16, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
  • better than "those", but can we express that the one who is in the situation is speaking, that it's from the viewpoint of that one (not "about")? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:26, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
Hmm... is this closer? Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:33, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
Thanks for the suggestion, is the slightly simpler "from the point of view of a person who had lost Jesus" also good? (A person saying "I" has no name anyway, thinking of "Me". How is that called in English, "Ich-Erzähler"?) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:40, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
  • First person, but I think the current wording shares most of the same concepts. AGF on German sources. Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:13, 9 January 2012 (UTC)
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