Template:Did you know nominations/Mercedes-Benz CLR
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:44, 26 October 2014 (UTC)
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Mercedes-Benz CLR[edit]
... that 21,735 mi (34,979 km) of testing was performed by the Mercedes-Benz CLRs (pictured) prior to their competitive debut at pre-qualifying for the 1999 24 Hours of Le Mans?
- ALT1:... that when a Mercedes-Benz CLR (pictured) became airborne and crashed outside the track at the 1999 24 Hours of Le Mans, the wooded area in which it landed had been cut down only two weeks prior?
ALT2 ... that the Mercedes-Benz CLRs (pictured) were retired from racing after three somersaulting airborne accidents before and during the 1999 24 Hours of Le Mans?- ALT3: ... that when a Mercedes-Benz CLR (pictured) crashed at the 1999 24 Hours of Le Mans, the area where it landed had been cleared only two weeks prior?
- ALT4 ... that when a Mercedes-Benz CLR (pictured) somersaulted almost 15 metres (49 ft) airborne at the 1999 24 Hours of Le Mans, it ended the model's racing career?
- Comment: Article was rewritten off mainspace and replaced/expanded an existing article on mainspace.
- Reviewed: Ricki and the Flash
5x expanded by The359 (talk). Self nominated at 06:19, 13 October 2014 (UTC).
- Certainly, the first hook passes muster, though a bit long to the naked eye at 178 characters (over 200 if hidden coding is taken into account). The second hook is longer yet, and contains an internal contradiction—how can a cleared area still be wooded? I have taken the liberty of condensing it to 167 characters while rewriting it as ALT3. I also suggested an ALT2, the worth of which I will leave to another editor.
- Article is obviously long enough. Spot checks do not reveal copying except from editor's sandbox. However, there are minor instances of unattributed material at the ends of paragraphs 7, 15, 16, and 18. Also, I do not see the significance of the link to Joachim Bonnier. No QPQ is required, as this is this editor's first DYK.
- Imagery consists of file copies taken from Wikimedia.
- I would recommend separating out the citation notes from the Reference section into their own section, entitled something like Sources.
- All in all, a praiseworthy effort. Clean up these minor issues, and you are good to go.Georgejdorner (talk) 16:26, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
- Added a few additional references and reused existing references to fill in a few gaps. Book references moved to a separate section. Joachim Bonnier is linked because he died at Le Mans under similar circumstances in almost the same spot, car launched into the air from another car, flew off into the woods and crashed into trees. Also similar to the 1955 Le Mans disaster of a car flying outside the circuit in an accident, although not into trees.
- As for hooks, I'm open to anything. The somersaults are fairly well known in the motorsports world so I was trying for something different as a fact for the car, but acknowledging the car's infamy is fine by me. The359 (Talk) 08:38, 14 October 2014 (UTC)
- Upon reexamination, I realize ALT2 is faulty because while there are cites for each of the three crashes, I could not find one that referred to all three at once. Instead, I struck it and came up with ALT4, which is cited properly for DYK purposes.
- The usual format for WP articles is to separate all citations from their references. You have done a beautiful job on your online citations, leaving not a bare URL in sight. These can be combined into the same reflist as the print cites. Alternatively, you might try an Online sources section to list them.
- Okay, now I understand the rationale about Bonnier; I had forgotten that it was Le Mans that got him. A link to the horrendous crash into the stands would be even more on point.
- Please don't be discouraged by my comments. This is a great first effort for DYK; the glitches are minor and easily fixed.Georgejdorner (talk) 17:06, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
- The 1955 Le Mans disaster is the car into the stands, also a Mercedes.
- And technically I believe this is my 23rd DYK, most of them were simply before the QPQ was added. I assume that is why the QPQ check only lists me with 1. I'll add a review. The359 (Talk) 20:01, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
- I have rewritten all the references to better reflect the standard, although I am mostly guessing at their accuracy. The359 (Talk) 03:21, 19 October 2014 (UTC)
- Your 23rd DYK, not your first? And here I was crediting you with being quick on the uptake, to do so well on your first DYK.
- At any rate, the article now looks good to go. And if you are interested in that era of F1 racing, might I recommend The Limit by Michael Cannell? Though somewhat sloppy on the technical details of automobiles, it gives excellent insight into the personal lives of some of the racers of that era, especially Phil Hill.Georgejdorner (talk) 17:39, 19 October 2014 (UTC)
- I have rewritten all the references to better reflect the standard, although I am mostly guessing at their accuracy. The359 (Talk) 03:21, 19 October 2014 (UTC)
- As for hooks, I'm open to anything. The somersaults are fairly well known in the motorsports world so I was trying for something different as a fact for the car, but acknowledging the car's infamy is fine by me. The359 (Talk) 08:38, 14 October 2014 (UTC)